How to nail your Carnatic pre-drinks

Let’s be honest, Carnatic is the only destination to have pre-drinks in Liverpool. Forget spoons or Crown Place, the hedonistic atmosphere is second to none for the wild start to any night out. Even if it isn’t your turn to host pre’s, it’s absolutely necessary to own every aspect of this very important start to your night out.

Get a glass down you before the chaos begins

The last thing you want to be upon arrival to prinks is sober – the aim of the game is control with speed. On that note, finding your sweet spot that will tie you over until you get to Level is a skill that will take the whole year to perfect. So don’t start shotting 40% Russian vodka your mate bought on eBay, 5 minutes before the last bus. You will spew. There will be pictures and you will be forever known as ‘chunder-girl’. Trust.

Avoid Morton and Lady Mountford

Let’s be honest guys. You have the smallest kitchens in recorded history. You might be closer to the canteen, but you’ll never know the true meaning of a Carnatic sesh if you don’t abandon ship now and then. Hit up Salisbury, McNair or Rankin – those guys really know how to party.

‘What do we think of Mountford? …S**T!’

Open all the windows

The Carnatic heating system is a myth. It’s an unstoppable furnace from Hell designed to smoke you out of all social spaces. BUT DO NOT CONFORM! Open every window and door and invest in a fan for the kitchen. It will save lives and maintain your makeup until the sprint for the bus.

Shotgun sofas

If you’re lucky enough to live in halls where there are adequately size social spaces, shotgun the sofas as early as possible. Perhaps send a few rowdy lads down for a loud round of pool. Tends to scare off the loiterers and provide you with the perfect party space!

Don’t get bucky on the baize!

Find a phat speaker

Make sure that they don’t belong to you because you’ll inevitably get left behind when you go back to your room to put them away. They’ve also got to be louder than the floor above/below you who are undoubtedly blaring some appalling underground grime their cousin recorded on SoundCloud. You only get one warning from the RAs, so start loud.

Get creative with drinking games

No table? A plate on the bin works just as well for a quick round of ring of fire.

2 means you drink!

Have a bottle ready for the bus but be prepared to neck it

Make sure it’s small, plastic and filled to the brim with bev. But don’t make it too strong because if you have to neck it before the 699 drivers let you on you’ll regret it. Top tip: if you have a back pocket or bag on you, hide your drink in there.

Sex on the 699

Reenact the stampede scene in the Lion King as you all crush shamelessly onto the 699

Feet have been broken and mobile phones trampled. Hold on to your hats and squish in, because when it hits 11:30 it’s every man for themselves.

Don’t be the wankers on the back seat

Just don’t.

The despicable back seat wankers

Press the bell in time to wheels on the bus as you drive smugly past the Greenbank bus stop

Press your face against the glass and wave goodbye to the poor souls who never manage to make it to town. Revel in it now, because in second year, you’ll be the sorry ones trying to hail a bus along Smithdown for your 9am that started 10 minutes ago. If by some miracle Greenbank make it onto the bus, make sure you chant a slurring rendition of ‘What do we think of Greenbank?!’

Long live Carnatic predrinks.

Make it home alive

Try not to lose your keys. Try to remember where you live. Don’t be the fresher they find facedown in the field the next morning who can’t remember his name.