Being a basic bitch isn’t always a bad thing

You’re as basic as chicken nuggets and you know it

basic bitch joni starbucks topshop jeans

There’s nothing wrong with being a 14 on the pH scale.

The term ‘basic bitch’ is thrown around a lot to describe girls who follow mainstream culture, dress similarly and get way too over the excited about their coffee order. But let’s face it. Everyone is a basic bitch deep down. And that’s okay.

You know the coffee you drink is overpriced and full of sugar, but that’s part of the appeal. That pumpkin spice latte is the highlight of your day. Yeah, could could put your money towards something ‘useful’ but where’s the fun in that? The caffeine is exactly what you need to get you through the lecture from hell, and you get to feel like you’re indulging. The Starbucks is so convientiently placed on campus for when you need a little pick me up. Pumpkin Spice Lattes get you excited for Autumn, rather than depressed that the summer is over.



You know what girl, you slay in those Joni jeans, white converse and a leather jacket. Who cares if you wear them most days, it’s comfortable and practical and simplicity is best. Besides – omg it’s a free country. If you’re feeling lazy you walk around in gym gear, even when you’re not going to the gym, because your Nike leggings are comfortable AF.  Your Uggs may be ugly, but they’re cozy and they keep your feet warm.

joni jeans


What’s wrong with always having your iPhone in your hands? (Rose gold, naturally). You want to stay in contact with your countless basic friends at all times, okay? What if drama happens on the squad chat and you need to WhatsApp them right now to be their agony aunt? Or failing that just lurk and watch the juicy drama unfold. Remember girls, always take screenshots.

Being a basic bitch means that the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is scroll through Instagram. You follow every one of the Kardashians, but that just demonstrates your interest in current affairs. Your account is full of selfies and artsy shots of the Starbucks you just bought, but that just shows that you’re interested in art and culture. And you know what, the dog filter is your favourite Snapchat filter. There’s no crime in looking damn cute.

snapchat filter

You can’t overuse a filter this cute

And after a long day of sitting in the Sydney Jones your phone, all you want to do when you get back is curl up in bed and marathon Gossip Girl or Pretty Little Liars – there’s nothing wrong with that. Serena taught you everything you need to know about dating. You long for a relationship like Chuck and Blair’s, however toxic it may be. A girl can dream, right?

You keep up to date with everything that happens to the Made in Chelsea cast, at all times, go to Level because you know they’ll be there, and you have a photo with at least one cast member. If it’s a good photo, you probably have it printed out and stuck on your wall, along with several other selfies and group shots of you and the girls. There’s nothing wrong with narcissism, self-confidence is sexy.

made in chelsea

Cute photo with my bae Jamie Laing xo

So what if you overuse the word ‘bae’, use hashtags constantly and find it physically impossible to send a message without an emoji in it. Own your basic bitch status. You do you, girl. You’re killing it.