Keeping up with Kyle: Stop pretending you’re a gin enthusiast

Why is everybody suddenly so obsessed with gin?

drinking gin gin enthusiast KUWK

Welcome to another instalment of our weekly column Keeping Up With Kyle, where Kyle, the most miserable of all Tab writers, delivers to you weekly short rants about the state of our campus and its surroundings.

“I’m something of an expert, I’ll have a Gordon’s.”

gin, drinks, alcohol, drinking

I’m so artsy and cool

It’s a Tinder trope like no other. How many times have you been reading Gary’s profile for it to say “Breaking Bad fan, gin enthusiast, all round nice guy.” I’m sorry Gary, I’m sure you’re great, but what exactly makes you a gin enthusiast? What does that really even mean?

Over the last few years gin has gone from old man’s drink to trendy twenty-something tipple of choice. Gin bars spring up in derelict districts and charge a premium for the bitter pleasure of top-brand gin.

I mean everybody has their drink of choice but enjoying gin doesn’t somehow make you an expert. The arrogance and superiority that oozes from those oh so trendy gin enthusiasts is nauseating beyond belief. Do people think that because they’ve heard of Bombay Sapphire that makes them special?

It’s just one of those meaningless phrases that people use to make themselves sound important, interesting or worldly. I quite like sleeping but I’d not describe myself as a bed enthusiast.

wine, kyle, drinking

I mean, it’s not exactly wine is it?

As soon as someone uses the term all I can think is, “here’s a person so boring that after one sentence they’ve already run out of things to say about themselves beyond what they drink on a night out when they’re trying to impress the barman”. Am I supposed to be intrigued that you like gin? What happens when two gin enthusiasts meet? Do they talk in length about the different characteristics of the gins? Do they talk about whether they prefer a slice of cucumber or a slice of lime?

I’m just fed up with it. But soon enough gin will fall out of fashion and people will start talking about being amaretto enthusiasts or some shit like that. Actually, I might go and add that to my tinder bio now.