What to wear on Valentine’s Day, wherever you’re going

Doesn’t matter if you’re madly in love or if you’re a single pringle


Valetine’s Day. Love it or hate it, exists. In order to combat the potentially horrible day, it’s essential that you wear the correct outfit to suit your relationship status and event you partake in – including doing nothing.

Fancy dinner date to Pizza Express with my cute boyf you’re so in love with

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*heart eyes emoji*

If you’re a member of ‘that couple’ who feel the need to declare their love life all over social media, then surely he’s going to buy you a bouquet of flowers – only allowed from the local florists of course – no Tesco cheapness will do, and you are definitely going to go for a cute loved-up meal to some chain restaurant in Liverpool One. But of course none of this is proved to have happened if you don’t instagram a pic of your boyf with a bottle of wine at a candle lit table, and get him to take one of you too. So for such a spectacular Facebook-pic-worthy event you need to be wearing the correct outfit. Keep it classy so your friends know he isn’t just with you because of your massive booty, a cute floaty floral dress is perf for this. Don’t forget a ‘natural’ makeup look to keep your boyf under the illusion that you’re naturally beautiful.

Last minute date

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Stay classy

Alternatively, perhaps you’re going on a first date that your friend set you up on at the last minute for ‘drinks.’ All your house mates are cosied up (some with each other) in their nests with their boyfriends and girlfriends and you’re desperate for a shag. That guy who looked like an 8 on tinder, is a 4 in real life but you’re gagging for it so go with the flow. Wear your shortest skirt possible and don’t forget a push up bra. Red is an alluring colour, so bound to get the guy to go home with you in the first hour.

Kitchen Street party

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Maybe you’re that ‘alternative couple’ and you and your druggie boyfriend are going to Kitchen Street for a mad night, because you can’t stand to be around each other if you’re not high or visually impaired by some kind of drug. To keep your super cool image make sure to wear vibrant colours; a vintage denim or bomber jacket is ideal. Love heart glasses will remind everyone in the club how you feel everytime you look at your boyfriend. But really they’re just hiding your massive pupils/tearful eyes because even though you’re not sober you still can’t stand him and his stupid Adidas trackies that just aren’t indie enough for you.

The Raz

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You love the Raz so much that you and your bae go to Blue Angel every night, not just Mondays. It’s where you two met and you both love it as much as you love each other, therefore making it the perfect place to celebrate the annual day of celebrating love a day late. Make sure you have got your Raz merch on so everyone knows where your heart lies that night.

Meet the parents

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“Your girlfriend is so polite, son!”

For some absurd unknown reason, you thought it would be a good idea to get together with your partner and their parents. You’ve got to keep it respectable and smart, a simple black dress and blazer is perfect for this event.

Girl’s night out

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Strong independent women don’t need no man

You’ve been on that many dates, you realise guys absolutely suck and you ain’t got any more time for them. You and the girls are going to go on a wild one, hitting all the clubs in concert square and ending up inevitably in Pop World. NO ONE is to kiss or even speak to a boy, they are toxic. Wear black to represent the mourning of your love life.

Nothing

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Don’t feel like being a Valentine’s day hater or lover? Maybe you’d rather not think about it all. Avoid all social media so you don’t see all those loved up couples and their new teddies, chocolates and fancy bouquets. Find your comfiest pjs and lie in bed all evening watching anti-love films like 500 Days of Summer. Make sure you eat all your flatmates Valentine’s chocolates in spite of their relationships.