High street Christmas jumpers: The good, the bad and the ugly

Novelty knitwear is for life, not just for Christmas

Christmas jumpers are a staple part of the festive season.  They’re an easy dress code for your final nights out, they keep you warm when you can’t afford bills any more and make you happy when you’re spending time with family you haven’t seen since September.

Whether you’re after fairisle, flirty or just plain old festive we’ve got your Christmas jumper look sorted.

The good

This one’s got everything, including a bit of sparkle to keep you looking fresh on the Heebies dance floor. Team this £20 jumper from Forever 21 with black super skinny jeans and killer silver stilettos to bag yourself a gift this yuletide.

Another bit of sparkle from Forever 21, this jumper is straight up, no beating around the bush.  If you’re out with intent you won’t have to do any grafting in this.  Set yourself back £20 and put it to good use in Juicy.  Dress it up with a sequin bodycon skirt and some platform heels.

A slightly more pricey £35 from Topshop but exceptionally comfortable, you won’t be able to take this off after you try it on.  So, if it is comfort you’re after, maybe to wear on that long journey home, or while you’re having your post-Christmas feast nap this is the one for you.  Try to match your accessories with the red or green on the candycanes.

Joint cheapest on the list is this £5.99 sweater from H&M.  It’s suggestive but fun and nails the Christmas theme straight away.  Probably quite hard to dress up, though.  You’re looking wearing this tucked into an a-line skirt with some chunky heels.  These jumpers are perfect for nights out because they’re thinner than the knits.  All the charm with less sweat.

The bad

This ski-slope scene masterpiece is a whopping £39, and it’s not pleasant.  Not pleasant in a “you saw an old woman leaving a knitting shop wearing something similar” kind of way.  But, it’s super comfy and warm.  If it takes your fancy go for leggings and trainers.  This isn’t going anywhere near Concert Square.

This one is quite confusing.  There’s a lot going on and pugs aren’t particularly festive, let alone pugs with sunglasses and dollar sign necklaces.  Pass on this, there are definitely better options, although at £5.99 maybe you should just get it just for the laughs…No, don’t.

This H&M knitted beauty will set you back £12.99.  It’s ironically brilliant, if you’re in to that.  Like, it’s so ugly it isn’t ugly.  If you want to commit to the Christmas jumper while also trying to send out a “I’m actually so hip though” message, this is your jumper.  Otherwise, definitely steer clear.  This is only to be worn with an “I don’t care” attitude and accessorised with lashings of edginess.

The ugly

Setting you back £20 this nifty number doubles as an elf costume. If you’re looking for something to rock up to the last Level in then avoid this one, in fact, avoid this one altogether.  There’s no excuses.  Don’t do it.

£20 again, but this time with bells on.  There’s a lot going on here, bells, pom poms, snowmen, trees, presents, candy canes, and a rocking horse (why?).  Maybe it’s one to wear on Christmas eve while downing mugs of mulled wine and pretending first semester didn’t happen.