How to avoid club promoters, from a promoter

No scallies allowed


Club promoters are like coursework: annoying, pestering, and something you simply have to deal with in order to get where you want in life.

Everyone has their own method of avoiding them. But undoubtedly as soon as you think you’ve got away safely, one pops unsuspectingly around the corner of Concert Square and slams a stamp on your arm. Everyone will now think you’ve gone to Soho for the next two weeks.

The Tab spoke to Black Rabbit promoters Joseph and Leo, as well as Jessie and Jack, from new bar Berlin on their experiences with promoting. They told us the best ways to avoid being attacked by stamps and flyers on your journey to a cheeky quadvod.

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Friends

Friends

Beware of seducing lies

Those offers of free shots may sound appealing but be warned: you probably won’t get them.

Jack said: “I offer hen do’s anything, and once they’re at the bar I just leave.”

His colleague Jessie agrees that sometimes lying is necessary: “I tell fellas that I’ll give them my number – that’s my main one.”

Go out with a group of lads

When asked if they target mainly girls on the average night, Black Rabbit’s Joseph and Leo said “Yeah of course. The more girls we have, the more guys will come in afterwards.”

The Berlin’s Jack backs this strategy: “I don’t like asking people unless there’s at least one girl with them. The way that we see it, you get lads in the bar but they’d walk straight back out because there’s no girls in there. Once you’ve got a group of girls in there then you can get the lads in too.”

Looks like girls are screwed then.

Disguise yourselves, gals

Disguise yourselves, gals

Be a scally

Nobody likes a scally. Leo revealed that because of a strict dress code “We do avoid lads with Hugo Boss on, and Armani as well.”

The Black Rabbit security manager chips in to shorten this description simply to “scally’s.”

Do Hugo Boss make women’s clothes?

Drunk scally in action

Drunk scally in action

Be specific about where you want to go

Jack says if someone tells him exactly which bar or the kind of bar they’re going to he’ll back off straight away and leave them alone.

He said: “If someone says we’re going to a karaoke bar, we know we don’t have karaoke so we just leave it.”

Is it really that easy?

Soz, Year 3000 is waiting for me

Soz, Year 3000 is summoning me

Be polite

We all know how easy it is to slur out rude excuses to a hassling promoter when bevvied,  but it turns out this isn’t actually effective in helping your escape plan.

When asked to give tips on dealing with promoters in the best way possible, Joseph said: “Just say no thank you. Be polite and don’t act like we’re trying to fucking kidnap you and shit. No one’s going to bother anyone if they just go ‘no, thank you.'”

You mean you don’t like it when we shout stuff in your face?

Yes I actually will take one of your cards, cheers Leo

Yes I actually will take one of your cards, thank you for offering Leo

Don’t go to clubs

Simple yet affective.

Black Rabbit’s Leo gives the best advice possible. Where there are clubs, there are going to be club promoters. It turns out if we’re actually nice to them they might actually be nice back.

Sorry club promoters.