Best places to have sex on campus
Because your sex life shouldn’t be restricted to a drunken one night stand after the Raz
Anyone else bored of getting sexed up on shitty, Smithdown mattresses? That’s exactly what we were feeling like before we aimed to try and test the best places to get freaky on campus. We searched long and wide to bring to you the best places to rock out with your cock out, and remain undetected (provided you are quiet enough).
Sydney Jones Library
Why not make use of the 24 hour opening hours and get some light relief whilst studying for your dissertation? Although the classic SJ is rumoured to be a gay cruising spot, its wide array of quiet and rarely visited sections can be enjoyed by straight people too. We found the moveable bookcases provided enough of a thrill of potentially being caught whilst still providing a comfortable area to go down on your partner. Only problem is the dirty, itchy carpet can leave a burn on your knees when giving a blowjob.
Thrill Factor: 7/10
Built for students, run by students, and now used by students to reach an orgasm before mid-lunch, (or any-time thereafter, whatever takes your fancy.) Nobody can possibly know how the fuck to get around this place, so wander around and find a secluded spot that takes your fancy. If you fancy a blowjob, there’s plenty of comfortable seating around the place to get cosy whilst your balls are being thoroughly emptied.
Thrill Factor: 7/10
If you’re a bit more on the wild side, and would rather reach orgasm in public, then you could always try out the piano like we did.
School of Engineering
If you fancy engineering somebody’s body parts instead of pissing about with metal, computers, technology and all that other un-fingerable bordeom, then look no further than the red bricks around the school of engineering. With the Harold Cohen library only over the road, you can easily spot a fittie during revision and beckon them over to the seedy corridors of the engineering department to get your mid-week fix.
Thrill Factor: 6/10
If you fancy yourself a bit of a Bear Grylls and like to get down and dirty on the down and dirt, look no further than Abercromby square – the buzzing, natural hub of the University of Liverpool. Most students just like to smoke here (or drink if the weather isn’t minus five,) but only the bravest and horniest of students will risk a sex session here.
Thrill Factor: 8/10
If you are forever alone and struggle to even match with a solid 3/10 on Tinder, then why waste a wank crying to yourself in your room about how depressed, lonely and ashamed you feel? Ramp up the jeopardy factor by having a danger wank right in the middle of University Square. Top Tip: if seen by a member of the public, stare at them directly in the eyes, lick your lips, go faster with your hand of choice until they find the situation way too uncomfortable and run away, scared for life leaving you in well-deserved peace.
Thrill Factor: 9/10
Where’s your favourite place to romp on campus?
Oh, and another tip for you: http://www.cirillas.com/penis-enhancers/.