What to do when you can’t find a computer in the SJ

It’s fair to say the Sydney Jones is well within the heat of revision. But the outstanding resources it offers, 24 opening hours and militaristic library police mean nothing when you simply cannot find a computer to conduct any revision on.

There is a certain Hunger Games style atmosphere in the SJ at the moment from the intensity of exam pressure, combined with the frustration of not being to find a solitary computer. You’ve all taken half an hour or more, helplessly wandering around the Grove wings, even willing to enter the Abercromby despite its human zoo enclosure vibes. When all else fails, and you make the walk of shame to reception in a last ditch needs must resort to get a laptop, you are placed on a waiting list as someone has already beaten you to it.

The war zone

You’re ready to erupt by this stage. Absolutely fuming, with tears of frustration running down your face and clutching your revision notes, you accept defeat and begin your depressing journey home. But fear not, a revision den may be a lot closer than you think.

There are a series of secret computer suites dotted across campus barely being touched. The variety of revision spaces means the needs of any student can be met, so instead of flocking to the overpopulated SJ to only be disappointed, have a gander at the other working environments on offer.

Gordon Stephenson Building

The Gordo Stevie homes a suitable revision area for the traditional student, who would embrace the old architecture. Bonus points if you’re tall too, as there’s plenty of leg room.

Rendall Building

The SJ is for suckers

If you want to bash out a past paper or get some colourful A3 revision posters done, Rendall is for you. Or if you just enjoy that elbow room, you can BYOL (bring your own laptop) to this spacious and quiet alternative to the SJ.

The Guild

Where the magic happens

This language lab houses about 50 computers, so quite an intimate working environment. However, the lack of library police does mean the noise levels are often talking volume, rather than the silence of the Grove wings. But the facilities are brand new, and you can pop down for a burrito at your leisure.

Abercromby Square (suitable weather necessary)

For first years or wastemen only. Why not enjoy a leisurely cigarette or bevvy while skim reading your textbook and soaking up the sun at the same time? While this may not be the most productive revision method, it’s most certainly the most fun.

Herculaneum room, Carnatic Halls

Spacious and shiny

For Carni residents, this revision space is ideal. The depressing 20 minute 699 journey is no longer necessary as you can stroll into your working area straight after breakfast. Admittedly, there are no computers and the distinct smell of Carnatic culinary services may impede your initial revision, but the Carni army are well equipped to that by now anyway.

Harold Cohen (ultimate last resort)

If you’re not a scientist then please leave

When ALL else fails, you can move over to the dark side and enter the world of the HC. The Tab wouldn’t know what it’s like in there, but would suggest to be come prepared for some anti-BA rivalry.

Thankfully, your £9,000 hasn’t gone to a total waste, as there are ample alternative study spaces around campus. It’s just knowing where to find them. So don’t bother with the SJ, it’s not worth the stress or sweat.

P.S. Apologies to anyone who uses these secret work spaces, as they are no longer a secret.