Dixy Chicken is the greatest takeaway in Liverpool

Everyone has their favourite post-night out snack box, but Dixy Chicken is so much more than that.

It’s not just the mouth-watering quality of the food, or the legends who pull the strings behind the marble counter, it’s the experience. Dixy’s is there for any occasion: whether you picked up a sold 2:1 on an essay you thought you’d fucked, or you’ve found out you’ve got more money in your account, Dixy’s is the food of kings. Like a great artist, a visit to Dixy Chicken can cater for any mood or emotion. Unlike your lame parents, a Combo Box won’t have a go at you for your spending habits, and it certainly won’t urge you to give serious thought to your career when you’re already losing your mind over revision.

It’s not just there as a last resort for when your freezer is empty, either, and if this is your take on Dixy’s you’ve completely missed the point. Like an expensive bottle of bubbly or a big family meal, a visit to Dixy Chicken is the ultimate way to mark a successful day.

Yes, Smithdown Road is home to a plethora of fast food establishments. Chesters, for some unknown reason, remains the fan favourite, while Greenbank Fish Bar admittedly has provided a satisfying end to many an evening spent at the Brookhouse. Ultimately, though, there is just one place on the Smithdown stretch to put a hangover to bed, and that place is Dixy Chicken.

With a glow not too dissimilar to the Taj Mahal and the welcome of an Anglesey cottage, Dixy’s can be found across from the road from Chesters, between Claremont and Barrington Road, equidistant from each end of Smithdown . You can’t miss it – it stands out like a tropical plant in a Cumbrian hedgerow, with its daring turquoise and red colour scheme.

Satisfaction defined

Upon entering this palace, you will be treated not just as another student who’s run out of pasta, but as a monarch or great adventurer not long returned from a mighty quest. You will be known as an almighty “boss”, and every decision you make will be “safe”. You will never be more appreciated than when in the glossy four walls of Dixy Chicken. And on the subject of walls, they are incredible. In most takeaways, the wait for your order will be spent in a grubby cabin, reminiscent of a scene from Saw or Dot Cotton’s launderettes in Eastenders. This isn’t the case when inside Dixy Chicken. The interior is fresh and dazzling.

You can see your face reflected in every surface. You could be forgiven for thinking you’ve accidentally stumbled into a space ship, or an upmarket dentistry. You’ll feel undressed in your UoL hoodie but that’s fine – you’re the boss, remember.

The good people of Dixy don’t just know what a boss looks like, they know how to feed one too. Their Just Eat five star rated menu ticks every single box, and for no more than £5 you can leave with a crate of food capable of feeding the thousands without supernatural interference. The £4.99 Combo Box is absolutely unmissable, and without question the most cost-effective and delicious deal available to the Liverpool student. Period.

Hold on… I didn’t order sex in a box?

You are all challenged to find a finer interpretation of red salt than the accomplishment offered at Dixy Chicken. No adjective can begin to do justice to how masterful their grasp of balance is. Insert a red-salt-coated Dixy chip into your mouth and you’ll be reduced to groans and whimpers. You will never go anywhere else for your red salt fix ever again.

We don’t have long left until we leave for summer, and some of us it is a matter of days before we leave for good. There really is no excuse. Live in the moment. Act on your curiosity. Believe the hype. Go get a Dixy’s.