Stop jumping on St Patrick’s day like it’s your own

Your Irish second cousin doesn’t count

alcohol Irish liverpool paddy's day st george's day st patrick St Patrick's Day

It’s St Patrick’s Day. The day of celebrations to mark the death of St Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland. Yes, that’s Ireland. Not England.

So why, English people, are you hijacking it and making it biggest day of the year? Like Halloween has made its way over from the States, suddenly English people are jumping on St Patrick’s Day like it’s their thing – and no place is more guilty of this than Liverpool.

In reality, it has no significance to us whatsoever – you wouldn’t expect the Irish to be all over St George’s Day, would you?

She knows how to do it.

She knows how to do it

For many it’s just a good excuse to go out and get pissed, and that’s totally cool, but if you’re not Irish it seems all a bit ridiculous to be going out dressed as a leprechaun, doesn’t it? You’ll still get served a quad vod if you’re not wearing green and a massive hat, you know.

Stop pretending to be something you’re not. Take off that four leaf clover badge and bright green hat, put down the Guinness and then you can go out.

No one can drink Guinness quite like the Irish can and anyway, let’s be honest, it’s probably one of the most vile drinks on Earth, so it isn’t really worth the pain. Let’s just stick to the double vodka lemonade. There’s no reason to be drinking anything different because this is just another normal day for anyone who isn’t Irish.

Irish are proud to be Irish, so don’t take their day away from them. It’s quite a serious thing and the celebrations belong to them. Why can’t us English just leave stuff alone?

It’s also blatantly obvious clubs are just trying to use the day as an excuse to get more people through the door. So, effectively, you are paying to be part of something you are not.

An Irish gal through and through

An Irish gal through and through

Apparently this is something the English just don't understand.

Apparently this is something the English just don’t understand

If we really want another day to make a good excuse to drink copious amounts of alcohol (not that we need another), then why don’t we just make more of a big deal of St. George’s day? That’s our thing, we’re allowed to celebrate that, but for some reason we can’t seem to organise our own celebrations, just crash on other those of others.

Surely dragons are a bit cooler than leprechauns anyway?

I’m waiting for the day where clubs start holding big events for St. George’s Day, a night where hundreds of people queue in an orderly fashion to get into a club. Let’s stop turning up to parties un-invited, and just stick to what what we’re good at.

By all means, go out and get hammered on Paddy’s Day because everyone else is. But be honest with yourself and admit it’s because you’re sheep, not because St. Patrick’s Day is a big thing for you. It really isn’t.