How to pull an English student

Read a book

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With their obsession with reading together and closeness to their shy and mysterious stereotype, the English student is most likely the friendliest breed of student to attempt to court.

Their extremely relaxed timetables and equally relaxed outlook on life in general mean that if you exist, you are probably in with a chance. To secure your very own book-worm, follow these tips.

Learn to recite poetry by-heart

Cheesy chat up lines just won’t cut it. you need to be witty and well read to go down well with this type. Good places to start are Shakespeare, and, er Shakespeare.

“To be or not to be” is a winner – most effective when followed by an intense look into the distance. They’ll be enticed by your mysterious allure.

Just copy the King of allure himself

If learning things like this just isn’t your cup of tea then you’ll need to use a little more Persuasion, and at least make your chat-up lines relevant to their passions.

Why not go bold and try a Hogwarts pun? For example, “Hey *insert name*, I like your bed, can I slyther-in?” Classic. They’ll love that.

Forget about the Sydney Jones

It may seem like sound logic to turn straight to the library to get your Wordsworth of books while bagging numerous dates, but unless you’re scouting an extremely enthusiastic type, quit while you’re ahead.

Most English students don’t need to use the University’s resources, and have so few contact hours they’ll most likely be doing all their work at home. The commute just isn’t worth it on one of their four days off.

So best avoid the SJ if you want to get your Dickens. Plus you need to save all your energy for that 50 shades loving.

Go to cool English hotspots instead

If you’re really keen this may well mean venturing as far as the Globe Theatre in London, or Willzy’s crib in Stratford-upon-Avon. Chances are you can’t afford that kind of expedition, so any reflective, immersive or scenic spot you can find is a safe bet. Just think to yourself, where would Keats go? (You know, Keats…).

Any library is worth a check, too. Actually, pretty much any building which is historic and pretty will similarly be a hit (literary links are a bonus).

19 Abercromby Square is a safe bet

If these locations fail to land you a lover then you’re sure to find at least one student wandering aimlessly around the maze of Abercromby Square English department at any time of day.

The building is so confusing your odds of picking up one of the damsels in distress or starry-eyed studs are very much in your favour. Be their Mr Darcy.

Pretend you don’t think their degree is just about reading

Whatever you do, do not use the words “all you do is read” when talking to an English student. They will hit you over the head with their anthologies (and there’s quite a few of them).

You don’t want to get on the bad side of an English student

Instead, talk about how you wish you could read more advanced literature, how you really miss doing it at GCSE and that, contrary to myth, English actually is quite hard.

That sort of talk is bound to get you write-in.

Act interested in the books they’ve read and pretend you want some recommendations

If all else fails you can always resort to Harry Potter – everyone’s read that (if you haven’t then you need to re-evaluate your life choices).

A staple item in everyone’s household