How clean is your house?

From shit stains down the toilet seats and mouldy shower curtains, to food so potent it must raise a code red health and safety, Smithdown Road is in need of an intensive wipe down.

We might not be the cleanliest people in the world, but these manky cribs will give you a bit of a shock.

Code Red

When indescribable smells creep under every door way, invading your nostrils as you walk through the front door, you know you’ve got a code red. You’ve become that desperate to find any form of plate to heat your leftover takeaway on, you resort to a dirty baking tray, frying pan…or even the table itself.

Or even when you become so lazy that simple tasks, like taking the rubbish out, have to be turned into a little game of tetris between you and your house mates, which results in stapling your banana peels to the bin bag.

It is every hoarder’s dream to lie in bed, not knowing where your duvet ends and the pile of clothes begin.

A group of five males who live together off Smithdown Road have stirred quite a lot of rumours between acquaintances on their course regarding the safety and hygiene of their house. Protective clothing should be worn at all times. This is a definite red alert on the scale.

One of the tenant’s girlfriends said: “They use all the cutlery until there’s no more clean ones – then they clean. There could be weeks worth of dirty plates until they finally do something about it.”

Nauseating

To any common outsider, or those with a slight case of OCD, these living conditions would be seen as their living nightmare. A pile of mouldy teabags have become glued together by the residue left on them, and bin-juices leak onto the kitchen floor.

The Liverpool FC scarves are displayed with honour, but it was hard to even walk through the door without tripping on old bin bags filled with pizza boxes. Hardly very honorable.

Moderately Minging

Many would mutter their apologies for the state it was in and then go hide in the common rooms. Others would use the excuse of “I went out last night”, but seriously, that smell of stale fish fingers and baked beans coming from the kitchen wasn’t because you ended up in Envi last night.

Ripped up pieces of old club event posters and leaflets, bin bags in the corridors and underwear draped off the wall, all the obvious signs of a messy night out.

Damage could definitely be done here.

The poetic display of the morning sun shining into this kitchen, makes it look as pretty as a penny, but deception is a fine thing. You’d think those dishes on the draining board would be sparkling, yet even a dog wouldn’t eat off them.

Fairly Tidy

A Fairly Tidy room on this scale would take an estimated 15 minutes to clean, but even that seems like a chore. Psyching yourself up and wondering where to begin is what puts you off the idea in the first place. Laziness just takes over and the excuses pile up like the clothes at the foot of your bed.

We all do it and we all understand.

The random bits of crap on the floor just adds to the décor of the room. That extension plug is most definitely a safety hazard.

This could be considered as verging, if not, under the Moderately Minging category. The attempt in assigning every condiment and cereal to a place though is something worth congratulating.

Like many, student Lily Davies, 20, doesn’t see the point in constantly cleaning. She said: “My room is always untidy, literally as soon as I tidy it, its a mess again a few days later.”

So what actually is the point? Don’t us students have enough to deal with?

Jonathon Kehoe, a student teacher at Liverpool Hope University, thinks so. He said: “Juggling my assignments, a part time job and placement on top of that is enough as it is, a pile of dirty clothes and a stack of used dishes isn’t going to hurt anyone.”

Apparently though, not all students have this same ethic in hygiene. Danielle Trainor, an Irish second year student at Liverpool Hope said: “Students who live in a messy environment crack me up. Getting up in the morning to find dirty dishes and crumbs left on the side aggravates me so much. Even when I’m drunk my OCD takes over.”

Pristine 

You can welcome guests into your home with open arms and offering up cups of tea, in matching mugs, made with pride. Not worrying about tripping up on three-week-old sweaty gym shorts and actually having the knowledge of where everything is in your home.

This definitely sounds like the high life. Is it overrated? Does this only exist in dreams? Or are you living with someone who has severe OCD and cleanliness issues.

These residents even had certificate proof by the inspectors on campus congratulating them on their spotless flat.

This is evidence that it can be done. Students can live a clean, if very anal, life.

Clearly, student life and common laziness is just too difficult to balance for some. The scale of mess can vary within students’ houses and not all can be that bad.

Not all, just most.