The best ways to procrastinate

It’s an art

bored exams procrastination revision

Revision season naturally results in shameful amounts of procrastination.

While more time will inevitably be spent dodging work rather than actually preparing for your exams, it’s important to highlight the best ways to achieve the ultimate level of procrastination.

Make a timetable of all the work you should be doing

Firstly, spend hours upon hours making detailed, timetabled lists of the work you should be doing in these hours. If anything, this just makes the reality harder – you’ll never actually stick to the schedule remotely.

Get snacks and stick the kettle on

Get multiple cups of tea on the go, and stock up on unhealthy snacks for your hard earned “revision breaks”. Make yourself a meal if you fancy it, you’ve got the time to spare.

Around 10 to 15 brews a day is standard

Great snack, simply a spoon or finger necessary

Become a Facebook fiend

Scrolling can be lethal when you lose yourself within the depths of your “friends”, and alarmingly find yourself on your best mate from primary school’s profile, who turns out to be engaged with two kids and posts statuses about how much they love EDM.

Twitter and Instagram are equally dangerous for procrastination stalking, especially with the sensitivity of the follow button. You may also find yourself typing out hit or miss tweets you know you’ll never be balsy enough to post, or editing photos that will remain on your camera roll, never to be birthed to the insta world. #pussy

If only I was edgy enough to pull this off

Plan your summer holiday

If you plan it now it will definitely come around sooner. But be careful here, before you know it you’ll have an entire three months inter-railing booked.

Browse the many useless pages the Internet provides

Online shopping can eat up a few hours. Especially if you are in the market for random shit you’d never spend that amount of money on in a normal state of mind: something like a juice blender (or any JML products). Just think you’re P-Diddy and piss that loan away.

May as well just type this in

Clean your house, for once

Procrastination can see you actually helping out at home. Whether it’s walking the dog or unloading the dishwasher, it’s far more appealing than revision. Never thought you’d see that day where household chores are the better option to go for. Thank me later Mum.

Screw revision

Please let me walk you

Me time

You now have the time for long, relaxing baths and, of course, many many naps. Nap time is actually scheduled into the revision programme, just for your own sanity.

Becoming a Netflix slut is also a common outcome of procrastination: the classic move of getting into a TV series to the point where it takes over any priority in your life, including studying. Prison Break is a must. Or anything with five series or more.

Finally, simply doing fuck all. This can be done via sitting, standing, or lying down. Just stare into the distance and think of how well your £9,000 a year is being spent…

You won’t regret it

Better than any desk you’ve ever had