Dating guide: First year

(Be slutty)

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The minefield that is the dating game is a priority for the fresher race.

Dear first years, be as slutty as you want.

This is one of the only times in your life where it’s totally socially acceptable to have casual sex with various people, various times, in various places. And boy is it fun.

Make sure you’ve got nice undies

It’s fair to say freshers are pretty much at it like rabbits. No one can judge you for having fucking fun (pun intended), not that they should any other year, but hey, society sucks.

The new, fresh and exciting lifestyle where there’s no limits to your freedom means anything goes. Literally.

Many fall into the trap of shagging their flatmate at freshers and spending the remainder of their degree awkwardly avoiding them.

This isn’t too easy when you’re in the prison style close quarters of halls. It’s gonna happen to someone you know, just try to not let that someone be you.

Threesome

Persistence is key

One of those many unlucky ones opened up to The Tab: “I hooked up with this really fit guy at freshers in my halls and from the morning after it was pretty awkward.

“I’m not an awkward person so kept wondering why, like had I done something wrong?

“Turns out he has a fucking long term girlfriend. It’s even more awkward now.

“Don’t make the mistake. You don’t know anyone’s back-story at freshers.”

Crikey.

Careful, they might be taken

Others believe they have landed lucky with the ultimate desirable situation of “we’re just shagging”, or “it’s just casual”, and the classic “it’s nothing serious”.

I call bullshit.

Though it may feel like you’ve landed lucky, it never stays that way. So try not to act to cocky, bouncing about halls with your smug after-sex smile because half a semester down the line you’ll be faced with the shitstorm that is emotion.

Then it gets messy.

Going for it

This very common situation can go a few ways: you can call the thing off but struggle to ever be proper mates again, totally fuck each other off which is shit when you live with the person… or actually get into a real relationship.

Some students arrive in relationships from back at home…some survive (seriously, congrats), and some do not. Many end in Freshers’ Week itself, which is such an odd coincidence.

Another anonymous fresher (unsurprising) commented on their first week break up, after a three year relationship: “As soon as I got here I realised I didn’t want to be in my relationship anymore.

“At the end of the day I wanted to get off with other people, so I did.”

AND WHAT

That shit happened a LOT.

Casual sex on the reg plus a student’s volume of alcohol can often result in some pretty mortifying morning after situations.

First year student Georgina told The Tab: “My first year sluttiness consisted of having no memory of a night and waking up naked next to an anonymous naked male.

“One time I had to shamefully ask him whether or not we shagged as I genuinely couldn’t remember.

“He told me I’d passed out before we could, so that was a bit of a relief.”

Phew.

DON’T try this approach

The inner slut can also resonate sides of one’s personality they never knew existed.

Feisty fresher Rachel said: “I once slept with a guy who I knew my mate fancied.

“She did tell me that night. I went there anyway.

“Slut turns you into a bitch, it can’t be helped.”

Primal instincts.

Overall, it’s very clear that every horny student gets laid in first year and therefore we can categorise it as the “slutty” approach.

The main piece of advice is simple, just do it guys. And if you want to amaze one visit PlugLust.