The new Starbucks is not welcome

The Guild has re-opened and with it has come a brand new shiny Starbucks, the second on campus.

Starbucks are the Tesco of coffee shops. The Liverpool Guild of Students have forgotten they are a huge corporate company, tax avoiders who have gone above and beyond to “green-wash” their image.

A quick read over their self-congratulatory website and you get both the gist and nausea: “As good neighbours we get involved with local efforts to bring people together and create positive change whenever we can.”

Grim

Two years ago the company were put on the naughty step for shelling out a measly £8.6 million in corporate tax over 14 years, but despite protests and a bit of window-smashing, 24 months down the line we’re still swigging down 50 grams of tasty sugar in our Grande Pumpkin Spice Lattes. There are over 760 franchises open in the UK today.

So why is The Guild hosting them and proud to serve it?

The nice independent coffee shops of Liverpool, who will actually sell you something half-decent, tasty and strong to get you fired up for coursework, seem to have been ignored.  It would also be cheaper and have the added benefit of supporting local businesses if they opened up on campus.

It’s easy to be apathetic, dismiss this as “like, hey, wow, I only drink single source bean Espresso filtered through the cupped hands of Mahatma Ghandi”, but there’s a middle ground and it pays to care about where you spend your money.

If you don’t give a flying duffin about the ethical implications of your coffee, prices are still pretty gobsmacking considering we’re all supposed to be living out of our overdrafts. Anything more than a little black Americano and you’ll be forking out about three quid.

At least for the price of a top-dollar ready meal you’re getting great service then?

The staff are doing the best they can, but tales have been told of students left gasping on the brink of dehydration for fifteen minutes waiting for a Mocha Frappuccino (they’d run out of caramel syrup by twelve o’ clock).

Incorrectly labelled icy beverage scandal

If you want actual coffee, you’ll have to make do with something that tastes a little bit like the scrapings off the inside of a dirty oven, Starbucks roast their beans at a higher temperature than most coffee shops so they can get it done quicker. Quicker equals more coffee and more cash.

It’d be nice if students decided to live up to the arty vegan stereotype and thought yeah, as great as it is to get high off a caramel and whipped cream once in a while, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Starbucks’ piss poor attitude is a contributing factor in economic hardships for students.

Embrace your inner rollie-smoking, Kanken-wearing self and please stop going.

Just look at that smug little face