Initiations are just dirty and immature

They are an abuse of leadership roles and are nothing more than an organised dirt-cheap laugh. Frankly they are tedious and dictatorial.

There seems to be an obsession among university sports teams to force freshers, in an almost militant fashion, to partake in ‘initiations’: tasks people MUST do in order to prove themselves worthy enough to be part of the team.

Hello innocent, unknowing fresher…

Specific nights are highlighted on the calendar for “initiation” events and are usually hosted by a third year who describes themselves as a “senior”, not just in terms of their experience with the team, but in terms of their self-perceived power and importance.

Everyone in the university affiliated to the sport is invited to the makeshift coliseum: the third years aloof, spectating the event with contempt like Roman emperors; the second years, the peasants in the stands, baying for the freshers’ blood; the freshers themselves, wide-eyed and nervous, eager to impress and desperate not to fall. Let the Hunger Games commence.

Not the usual mixer at these initiations- “Vodka and Tabasco sauce please”.

The tasks are of course perfectly designed to sink existing team members to their knees in fits of giggles: anything that makes a person lose all of their dignity (and the rest).

Most assignments involve pouring an obscene amount of spirits into a pint glass, alongside anything found in the cupboards that will cause the alcohol to congeal and solidify into a foul-stinking mousse.

Naturally, the more plucky fresher’s refuse to take part in such tasks which leaves the fraternity of the captain and their cronies to descend into a chorus of peer-pressure, screeching terrible lyrics like a pack of hyenas, crying “get it down”.

“Get it down you Zulu Warrior”

From then on for the more established members of the team, the night becomes a car crash.

They sit there like old women on a park bench, gossiping about the latest fallen fresher, brimming with pride as their son/daughter spews up their tea round the back of a skip, as a direct result of the extra shot the senior sneaked into the pint they so ‘generously’ bought their fresher.

Of course, many people will claim that it’s all part of the comradery- it’s a story to tell at the next training session, a way of breaking the ice.

They’ll suggest that it is tradition and that they’ve all been through it at some time.

Freshers beware of freebies.

It’s just all too pathetically-hierarchical. Who are these people that I have to prove my worth to and why can’t I do this where it matters – on the pitch?

If it’s not about having to prove myself, and it’s just about having a laugh, why is there so much pressure to it? Why not allow the stories to develop naturally instead of trying to manufacture them?

It goes against the very nature of a team. How can I trust someone on the pitch if they’re willing to humiliate me in front of my future team members?

Initiations: the human equivalent of bear-baiting. Grow up.