Five fashion stereotypes you see in lectures

If you’re anything like me, you’ll spend more time in lectures gazing gormlessly around at your fellow students than you do paying attention to the life cycle of E.Coli. Lets face it, as soon as the clock strikes 20 past the hour and your coffee has worn off, you’ll begin looking (not so) subtly for that really fit lad who lent you a pen once in HCC8 and you’ve since planned your wedding to.

Whilst looking for Prince Charming The Tab always takes notice of what everyone is wearing, so don’t be turning up to your lectures in a onesie please – you will be judged instantly. This incessant spying has led us to compiling this list of fashions that you are pretty much 100% sure to see in your lectures.

 1)      The “edgy” hipster

An edgy type may choose to sit in other ‘less obvious’ places

Over-sized t shirts and backwards caps are bound to be seen in every lecture, and the Sydney Jones is full of these trendy kids. Their giant rucksacks always end up on the seat next to them; I’m not sure if they’re saving a seat for a mate or they just don’t want anyone to contaminate them with “uncoolness.”

Either way they often result in you sitting alone, in the reject seat at the back of the room, waving mournfully across the room to your friends who made it into uni with more than 30 seconds to spare.

2)      The Hungover Harry

Trying to pull off pyjamas in public

The commonly seen Hungover Harry- most likely to be in morning lectures looking slightly confused as to why they’re not still tucked up in bed, hugging a bin whilst watching an entire series on Netflix. Characterised by the mismatching socks, stained t-shirt and trousers which were definitely picked up off the floor in a rush, these poor guys are occasionally joined by the lesser spotted “Walk of shame Wendy.” Wendys are normally sporting last nights “glamorous” attire, whether it be a sparkly playsuit, jeans and a shirt or, in the case of one individual last year, a Bane from Batman costume. Any fashion advice given to these two characters will fall on deaf ears (maybe literally, depending on where they were the night before) as tequila is still lingering in their system and all they can concentrate on is not throwing up last nights Chesters in front of the whole room.

A frequent position for the Hungover Harry

3)      The Next Olympic champion

They may even attempt to work out during the lecture

You’re in the fencing team? Oh why didn’t you say something? We never would have guessed from the fact that you’ve worn your fencing hoody for the past 4 weeks solid. The hoody is normally accessorized with a protein shake in hand, an over-sized gym bag and “subtle” mentions of how fast you ran 8 miles this morning.

We’re sure you’re all lovely people but please stop making everyone feel bad about the fact that the majority of us ditched any proper exercise back in 2009 when we had a really fit PE teacher who made us run the 1500m in the rain.

They always sit as above,  to make the most of their swans

4)      The Fashion Butterfly

On Wednesdays, they wear pink

Looking like they’ve stepped straight off the cover of Vogue (okay maybe Closer), these girls are at the top of the fashion pile. Think Regina George from Mean Girls. Think Elle from Legally Blonde. They know what’s what in the world of fashion and can tell you every “New In” item on the Topshop website off the top of their heads.

From Doc Martins to fur coats, nothing is off limits. They might have forgotten to bring a pen and paper to lectures today but when you’ve spent 2 hours getting ready for uni who can blame them for forgetting a little thing like that?

They’re guaranteed to make your outfit look like a shambles in comparison

5)      Mother Teresa

Easily identified by their t-shirts supporting various causes, these people are definitely to be admired. Without them I never would have been educated on dolphins, diseases and disasters- they’re excellent at what they do. Also, lets face it they make amazing cakes, they should just drop out of uni and get straight to the Great British Bake Off.

Biscuits for all!

So there you have it. I’m sure you’ve all seen these characters lurking around the lecture theatres – perhaps you’re one of them? Whatever style you have, just remember this is not actually Mean Girls – everyone is allowed an off day.

So please, no heckling when a Walk of Shame Wendy strolls into the wrong lecture half way through, wearing hot-pants and her latest conquest’s hoody.

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