Don’t use the library computers if you’re going to be a knob

Getting a computer in the library these days is a mammoth task involving ninja-like senses to grab one as soon as someone leaves before the onslaught begins. Students should just start obeying computer library etiquette.

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It’s that dreadful time of year again, when you spend your life in the library getting paler by the day just as the sun stars to make an appearance over the grass of Abercromby Square.

All your deadlines are conveniently in for the same day and exams are looming- so why on earth has the library not got a system which enables people to get computers fairly?

The library is actually a great place to work in terms of quiet study areas and the added bonus of no distracting house mates. But at this time of year, it’s a race against time to get there before you have to awkwardly hover near the computers, waiting for someone to leave.

For those of us who don’t want to get up at the crack of dawn- even, heaven forbid, on a Sunday- the uni should sort out a system so the anguish of waiting and wondering when you can take someone’s place is no more.

Firstly, PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO WATCH FILMS IN THE LIBRARY. Or sport or any sort of non-academic program. Once I actually saw a girl watching BBC One’s quirky, primetime drama ‘Merlin’ for three hours without doing any work. Get out of the library and watch it at home. The library police should throw them out and let someone with actual work to do take their place.

Secondly, all first years should be banned from the library. Or, alternatively, given their own section so they can spend time worrying about getting 40% while the rest of us work on dissertations. Obviously, if you’re a first year whose year counts then you are excused.

Thirdly, who are these people who bring in laptops and then sit at a desk with a computer? This has got to be the worst abuse in the library that has ever existed. If you’re using a laptop and don’t need a computer then hit the road, otherwise you are the worst type of library goer and should feel ashamed of yourself.

Obviously it’s impossible to police Facebook or other forms of procrastination but seriously people, if you’re going to be away for more than half an hour then log off. You can’t expect people to adhere to your schedule of Tesco breaks or two hour lectures.

At this hectic time the library should have a good old British orderly queue where you get a ticket with your time of arrival stamped in bold black numbers, or something to that effect.

Obviously you can work at home but the uni library is what we are all paying to use, and the people who abuse it ruin it for everyone. I know it’s extreme but I vote that we have library police roaming the corridors like Filch in Harry Potter, minus the creepy cat obviously.

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