15 ways being in final year is like being an OAP

Your time is running out, you’re having a melt down every second of every day and you’re filled with a bitterness you didn’t even know was possible.  Here’s how being in your final year is exactly like being an OAP.

1. Tea is now your drink of choice.  Always.

It’s also become your answer to everything because it is the solver of all woes:  “I can’t handle my dissertation, I’ll go and make a brew.”

2. When you do fancy a tipple, you prefer a stiff gin or sherry over a cheeky V any day.

There’s no way on earth a watered down quad vod is going to solve your problems.  After 3 years hard drinking, it just doesn’t cut it any more.  You need a PROPER drink.

3. Staying in is the new going out.

You’ve reached final year, it’s Friday night, and all you want to do is stay in with a nice cup of tea and catch up on Netflix.  They’ve got David Attenborough on there, right?

4. When you do go out, you often find you’re one of the oldest people there.

Why are there freshers EVERYWHERE?!

5. Your pulling options are severely limited simply because you’re the oldest person there.

You’re pushing 22, it’s no longer acceptable to be seen necking an 18 year old.

6. You regret ever going out because you can’t hack the hangover.

7. You really enjoy a good nap.

11am, 3pm, 6pm, any time is napping time when you’re in final year.

8. If you’re in bed past 10pm, you’ve had a wild one.

You just don’t have the stamina you used to.  You need a good 10 hours sleep minimum.

9. You’ve seriously considered signing up for Meals on Wheels because you just don’t have time to shop and cook.

If only your mom was here to do it all for you.

10. You become irrationally angry and grouchy if a fresher takes your library spot/bus seat.

Kids these days just don’t have any respect for the older generation.

11. Every day seems precious because you know it’s all going to be over soon.

You need to make the most of these last few weeks at uni because they’re running out.  Sob.

12. You’ve discovered the benefits of early starts.

If you’re going to get this shit done, you can’t be lying in bed all hours of the day.

13. You pick comfort over fashion any day.

You’ve started taking a coat and umbrella everywhere with you, wear flats on a night out in case you break your ankle and you wish you could just take your dressing gown to the library with you.

14. You’ve perfected your signature dance move, which actually resembles the way your granddad dances.

Side to side shuffle, swing those hands, beeeautiful.

15. You’ve gotten really into baking.

Tesco ain’t cheap y’know.  The future is in baking your own library snacks as a form of procrastination.

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