The eyebrow phenomenon: it’s getting out of hand

The popularity of achieving perfect eyebrows has got somewhat out of hand. Women are now judging each other upon eyebrow arches, thickness and colour, with some even stating ‘never listen to anyone with bad eyebrows.’

It’s as if women without statement, faultless brows should be shipped onto their own island where they have to be threaded, waxed and tinted before they are allowed to return.

I woke up like this

Why have eyebrows become so important? Perhaps women have finally realised that if eyes are the windows to the soul, the eyebrows are the frames. Maybe girls feel prettier with thick brown caterpillars on their foreheads. Unashamedly, I am one of them. I just LOVE eyebrows. They’re so fun. Here is a guide to achieving eyebrow GOLD, for the straggly, patchy and uneven ladies out there…

1. Firstly, one must privately find a mirror in order to conceive which shape would be most flattering for the face. It took me five hours but I decided on a thick, long brow with a soft arch. Remember this is a strategic and articulate mission and one must consider this SERIOUSLY. You do not want eyebrows that look like they’re:

a) kissing

b) sliding off your face.

Draw on your ideal shape and CAREFULLY pluck or wax around it. Try to follow your natural eyebrow line whilst evening the two brows to create a symmetrical finish. Remember you can always pluck more hairs away but you can’t stick them back on with glue. Okay? Sound.

Scouse brow has reached global domination.

2. Now that you have mastered the eyebrow arch of a goddess, pick your perfect eyebrow tool. You don’t want a felt tip pen or anything black – looking like your eyebrows have been coloured with a sharpie is not ideal, you are not a children’s drawing. The best tools for eyebrows on a budget are those by e.l.f. cosmetics, such as fixing gel, powders, liners and stencils.

For women really wanting to surpass the holy grail of eyebrow perfection, Benefit’s ‘Gimme Brow’ is best for creating defined but natural eyebrows. Dark haired girls should go for dark brown eyebrows, brunette girls should strive for medium brown whilst red heads and blondes should stick with light brown in order to keep the eyebrows appearing natural.

Staple goods

3. Now that you have achieved eyebrow greatness, there are EVEN MORE things you can do to achieve eyebrow perfection! Woohoo! Glide over the eyebrows with a fixing transparent gel, as eyebrow splodges make girls sad.

Highlight the brow bone (‘High Beam’ and ‘Watts Up’ by Benefit, or ‘Wake Me Up: Instant Radiance Shimmer Touch ‘ by Rimmel are perfect tools for doing so). Well done. Now you may play Beyonce’s ‘Flawless’  because THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE, LADY.

Bow down bitches

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