One of the most shocking things you discover when coming to university is the politics of the kitchen.

What you thought would be a non-issue becomes a minefield of potential arguments depending on how matters of the kitchen the kitchen go down. But do not fear, The Tab is here to address some of the uni kitchen’s biggest issues.

To share or not to share?

One of the first problems you have to comprehend is whether everyone buys individual kitchenware or if you enjoy the laidback approach of communal cutlery. This very much depends on the personalities of the people you are living with, as it only takes one argument between a clean-freak and a layabout and the whole system falls to pieces.

Wouldn’t share this with someone for the world

When to wash up

There is a certain beautiful artistry to washing up at the right time. Obviously you want to put off washing your plates for as long as you can because life is too short to bother cleaning up after every meal. However, you don’t want to leave it so late that you end up with an infestation of creatures created by the agar plate known as your pig sty of a kitchen.

Democracy manifest

How to punish the food thief

It is an inevitability of living in a student house that your flatmates are going to borrow your kitchenware or steal your food without telling you. This is acceptable in small doses but when someone is a repeat offender, justice must be done. I would suggest determining what food they keep stealing and tainting it somehow so they get a nasty surprise the next time they try and cross you. (Maybe try smothering your food in lead-based paint, that’ll show them).

Eat my food, taste my paint

Anything but plates

If everyone has their own plates and utensils then they are accountable for doing their own washing up and it is pretty obvious who has and hasn’t done theirs. However, the notion of washing up is complicated by what is being shared, namely the fridge freezer and oven. It is best to draw up a rota early on so that this actually gets done or before you know it you are too far down the line and the kitchen hasn’t been cleaned in months.

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