To tattoo or not to tattoo?

To tattoo or not to tattoo? That certainly is the question. Unfortunately, there’s a plethora of examples sauntering down the high street that proves that this question is far from pondered enough.

Body art is a perfect way to express yourself… if given the thought it deserves. But nobody can convince me that having your name tattooed in Chinese or a funny font is in any way expressive; in fact, the only thing it conveys is a sub-par memory.

Alcohol + tattoo = disaster.

Too many decisions to get a tattoo are made after a few sherbets in a dodgy merchant shop in the alcopop scented strip of Magaluf. People tend to get the superhero complex and think they’re invincible; it will hurt in the morning. Man up and do it sober or don’t do it all. Or else you’ll end up walking out of a plastic surgeons office shedding more tears than an X Factor audition video.

My housemate had one too many cocktails.

No pain, no gain

Getting a tattoo is the painful procedure. Do you remember those temporary tattoos that you used to stick on your arm as a kid? They were extremely painful to remove; sat in the tub for hours scrubbing with a brush with a thousand razor blades for bristles. So imagine how painful it is to remove a real tattoo. Loofah replaced with laser, scrubbing replaced with burning.

Trial run (there is none).

If, like me, you can’t make the most minor decision without seeking the advice of a professional, the question of whether to get a tattoo is excruciatingly difficult. This is because there is no real trial run; you take the plunge and it either pays off or you look like a regular on the Jeremy Kyle show. Even though getting a henna or even drawing on the design with a Biro allows time to acclimatise to the look, shape and feel of having a tattoo, it never gives you the real picture. Is it really worth the risk?

A biro trial. Absolutely useless.

Life in pictures.

Too many tattoos are meaningless fashion. As I mentioned earlier, tattoos should be a statement of your personality or something that is close to you; a few lyrics from a song you share with your beloved, a symbol of the cultural group you belong to, or a quote you live your life by. All these examples are personal, as if the design seeped from your soul and etched itself onto your skin; unfortunately these examples are notable for their rarity. Tattoos are subtle narratives of the story of your life and should be chosen for their emotional value and not their taccy aesthetics.

My same housemate’s much less regretted tattoo; a lyric from his and his boo’s song.

So all in all, tattoos should not be just a fashion statement or a show of masculinity. If chosen carefully, and if you can manage the pain, they can be your very own personal hieroglyphics: a code of your history that only a few people will ever be able to decipher. Take my advice, give your mouth a rest and let your skin tell the story.