Running Trainers: What’s The Hype?

There’s recently been a surge of appearances on campus of shoes that only a 10 year old participating in a P.E. lesson should own: TRAINERS.

The emergence of the running trainer as a fashion accessory first began around a year ago, with every kid on the corner sporting an N on the side of their feet. Shit got colourful, with bright pink and leopard print disasters clashing horrifically with vintage Adidas shell suits and ruining a nice pair of rolled up jeans.

The telltale sign of a hipster: the N

I must say, I was taken in by the trend myself for short while, sporting a pair of plain black converse that date from my school days. I then considered a move towards the Zara trainer: a silk blend with a woven tiger delicately embroidered onto the front. But then, one fateful day, I looked in the mirror and realised that I looked like an utter twat.

Why am I walking round with a pair of (patterned) trainers on when I’m not engaging in some form of sport and I have a large array of boots, flats and half of Kurt Geiger chillin’ in my hallway?

Look at all of the choice: why would you go for the Nikes?

Men have no excuse either: there are hundreds of styles of comfortable, durable and acceptable shoes waiting in shops for you to buy. They scream ‘why hath you forsaken me for that edgy shit’. Put them out of their misery boys: ditch the New Balance and move towards Topshop, I beg of you.

Whatever happened to a nice pair of brogues?

A true gent who actually bothers to get dressed in the morning

Of course if you’re engaging in some form of sport or are going to/from the gym, THAT’S COOL. That’s what trainers were made for: physical exercise! Standing outside Harold Cohen smoking half a pack of Malboros whilst fixing your scrunchie isn’t exercise, okay?

The only acceptable outfit to pair running trainers with: GYM CLOTHES

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