Vote now: the worst accents around campus

Campus is a hot bed for accents – from the indigenous Scouse Squeal to the Irish Drawl, and not forgetting that unbearable Southern monotone.

But which one grinds on you the most?

1. The Scouse Squeal

‘Desperate Scousewives’ was axed for a reason.  As soon as you hear the infamous “soz aba ya”, “calm down” or any use of the term “wool” it sends shivers down your spine as you frantically check you still have your phone, wallet and any other valuables… including your hair rollers.

2. The Mancunian Whine

The Mancs arrived in Liverpool wanting to drown out the squeal with their whine.  What remains is a confused blurring of the twangs.  MAKE IT STOP.  Not to mention the fact it takes about an hour to get through an average length sentence.  Take Gary Barlow: “That was aaaaaabsolutely faaaaaaaaantastic.”  Nobody has time for that.

3. The Scummy Brummie Drone

The Brummie accent should come with its own dictionary if you stand a fighting chance of deciphering that one.  Trarabit? Bab? YAM?! What is this madness?  Then again, as with the Manc Whine, you do have ample time to deter their meaning, seeming as every syllable lasts ten times as long as it should do.

I’m a Brummie loud and proud but the accent brings me to shame

4. The Irish Drawl

At first, the friendly words of the Irish are enough to soothe anyone’s soul.  Give it ten minutes and you’re completely lost in the conversation with no way out.  You end up nodding along, occasionally laughing and praying for a pause so you can leg it.  Add in alcohol and you might as well not bother.  They may look and sound like Gerard Butler in ‘PS I Love You’ but you can’t spend your life imitating Churchill the nodding dog.

Paddy’s Day = absolute nightmare

5. The Southern Monotone

It’s a rare and brave Southerner that ventures into the North West.  They’re aghast by your improper use of the Queen’s English and you instantly feel belittled when you realise you pronounce “Bath” with a short vowel sound.  Consequently, you always have your rah-dar handy, giving you plenty of time to practice elongating your vowel sounds before you’re engaged in conversation.

“Oh no darling it’s pronounced Barth not Bath”

Which one will you crown the worst of the worst?

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