Liverpool’s Smoking Areas – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

If you’re going to smoke, here’s where best to do it.


Us smokers get a lot of hate nowadays, but admit it, once you’re inebriated you’re as willing as any to engage in a bit of self-destruction. If not, you almost certainly weren’t inebriated enough. So without further ado, here are The Tab’s picks of where best to ‘av a fag.

Heebie Jeebies

Pros:

  • Covered seating areas with astroturf, the definition of sophistication
  • Plenty of standing room when you inevitably can’t find anywhere to sit down.

Cons:

  • Multiple exits mean there’s people stumbling in all directions. Spilt drinks are unavoidable.

4/5

Wood Street – Krazyhouse/Popworld/Ca Va

Pros:

  • The perfect opportunity to interact with some of Liverpool’s loveable neighborhood tramps

Cons:

  • Krazyhouse have a nasty habit of charging £1 just for a slip to get back in, whereupon the bouncers will more than likely kick you out again.
  • The only shelter is dingy, piss-filled doorways.

2/5

A few Krazyhouse punters revel in securing a coveted doorway

Medication

Pros:

  • It’s not quite as claustrophobic as EVAC

Cons:

  • Huge queues just to get outside
  • You can barely move for #lads

1/5

Berry and Rye

Pros:

  • There’s a toilet with soil in it, what more can you want?
  • The lack of space isn’t really an issue given that the bars always at its capacity of about 4 people and they don’t let anyone else in.

Cons:

  • There’s not really a whole lot else apart from the toilet. Depends on your position on soil toilets I suppose.

3/5

What’s not to love?

 

Walkabout

Pros:

  • It’s got its own bar which is usually emptier than the battery farm downstairs
  • There’s a nice balcony to chunder off without arousing too much suspicion

Cons:

  • Those weird plastic chairs are reminiscent of a cheap Benidorm tourist bar.

3/5

The Shipping Forecast

Pros:

  • Lots of cool gig posters to steal on your way out
  • If you can’t get into Juicy you can attempt to sneak downstairs from the back exit

Cons:

  • It’s never quite clear which entrance you’re supposed to use. Expect to trigger the fire alarm at least once in your uni career

3.5/5

Baa Bar

Pros:

  • Proximity to the toilets in case you fancy being offered some shit drugs

Cons:

  • You’re still in Baa Bar

2/5

A particularly flattering picture to accurately sum up my views on Baa Bar

Bumper

Pros:

  • A perfect vantage point to people watch the weirdos on Hardman Street

Cons:

3/5

The Kazimier

Pros:

  • It’s aesthetically fantastic. There’s an old piano, booths, sick fairy lights and sometimes even a separate DJ just for the smokers

Cons:

  • There are no cons. The Kazimier is a mecca for any chain-smoker

5/5

Paradise

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