The Tab’s Edge-o-Meter

On a level of Beatles to Bold Street how edgy are you? Find out in this quick, and in no way generalising quiz.

1.       Where do you study?

• A) Central Library – because why would you want to be surrounded by students?
• B) The Sydney Jones Library – full of likeminded individuals like yourself in search of an obscure book you won’t need for your essay in the basement.
• C) At Home – why leave your bed when you have food, a laptop and an endless supply of breaking bad study breaks?
• D) En route to the gym – just need to flick through a few notes before hitting the treadmill like a boss.

Central … so beautiful it has reclining chairs

2.       What’s your standard outfit?

• A) An adidas jacket, scrunchie and/or a Carhartt beanie.
• B) Anything black that displays your midriff, a gold chain necklace and a Casio watch.
• C) Skinnies, tie-dye and topshop.
• D) A UoL hoodie and sweats.

Looks like the 90’s are here to stay

3.       What do you smoke?

• A) Zoots and only zoots.
• B) Rollies – preferably with liquorice rizlas.
• C) Marlboro lights.
• D) I don’t smoke – mainly because it kills you.

Smoking’s even edgier if you take a picture of it on a disposable camera

4.       Where can we find you at 3am on a Saturday?

• A) Berry and Rye – you know the bouncer so you always get in as a pre-amble to HAUS or PAUSE once you’ve dropped.
• B) La’go or the Shipping Forecast – who cares if the drinks are expensive?
• C) Heebies – all night every night. It’s easy to fit in when there’s so many people, and the cocktail choice is perfectly mainstream.
• D) Baa Bar – you definitely buy the test tube shots as they’re such good value for money. They always play your favourite jams by Miley et al.

Because a cocktail isn’t a cocktail unless it’s ordered from a book

5.       What do you spend your student loan on?

• A) Drugs – Garys are old now, you’re searching for the hottest stuff around and will go to any lengths to find it.
• B) Some new decks – for your post-rave mellow out to some reggae-dub and hip-house.
• C) Clothes – maintaining your image isn’t cheap. Charity shops? Think again. Retro is double the price and wears out just as fast. You need to have constant wardrobe rejuvenations to appease your Instagram followers.
• D) Food and Drink – you’re all about the smart price savings. Keeping your weekly budget always at the front of your mind. Your parents would be so proud.

6.       What are you doing this summer?

• A) Travelling to Siberia – it’s the only place that is cool enough for you
• B) Boomtown – because the Guardian told you it’s not as ‘corporate’ as Glasto
• C) Glastonbury – you can always namedrop the 4am slot you’ve never heard of in the rabbit hole while you get geared up for Coldplay
• D) Zante – It’s all about the #zantsbants

Mostly A’s – Cara Delevigne

You’ve either lied on this test, or shouldn’t be on here. You’re so edgy you shouldn’t even have the internet. You spend your time taking drugs and competing with your friends for ultimate obscurity. You’re friends with all the DJ’s and look good in “something you just found on the street” – but you probably can’t even remember what your degree is in. (It’s almost definitely English.)

Mostly B’s – Edgy

You’re almost always on Bold Street and think that the 90’s is back to stay. You’re happily revelling in the fact that all of your friends look the same but still consider yourself “unique”. When you’re not in Oxfam, paying too much for a jumper almost identical to the one your grandma knitted you for Christmas, you’re visiting Specsavers for yet another eye-test with the hope that you can soon switch up your wide frames for some genuine prescription ones.

Mostly C’s – A Sheep

You try to be edgy and have probably jumped on the back end of this hype. You desperately stalk hipsters on social media and attempt to imitate them with your urban outfitter’s student discount. You yearn after boys who spend more time on their getting their hair to look painstakingly coiffed than on a night out and secretly love Primark.

Mostly D’s – Mainstream

You’re so un-edgy you’re a circle. You couldn’t care less who Burial is and probably think Disclosure is trendy. You don’t try hard to create a unique image and wouldn’t want to fraternise with dirty hipsters. Just be happy knowing you’re like everybody else.