BNOC : Best Names on Campus

The Tab’s scoured the campus league tables to find the best team names around. FC Leavemearcelona, anyone?

6 a side Football inter yanan liverpool uni campus league six a side university of liverpool university of liverpool campus league uol campus league

With all the fuss over Varsity and initiations and team hoodies, sometimes campus sport doesn’t get a look it. It’s a shame, because away from such boring team names as ‘University of Liverpool Mens 1st Rugby Union Teams’, there’s loads of incredible names playing in the Wednesday and Sunday leagues. We’ve scoured the league tables to bring you some of the best. 

Honourable mention to Bayer Neverlosing, great name

Honourable mention to Bayer Neverlosing, great name

E=Emile Heskey Squared

Currently residing right at the bottom of the Wednesday Division 1 League with a grand total of 0 points, the team can take solace in the fact they’ve got a fucking amazing name. Here’s an incredibly grainy video of them beating Pokerstars FC 4-0 last year. Clearly they’ve lost a shitload of form since.


FC Leavemearcelona

We associate the Spanish game with elegance, style and passion. Absolutely none of that is present in this name.

CSKA Roscoe

Occupying a respectable mid-table position, this team’s real strength lies in their name-choosing skill. Punny and rhyming, could it get any better? The second best thing to come out of Roscoe and Gladstone Halls, just after these guys who made a crazy golf course in a bedroom.


The History Boys


The History Boys' goalie. No wonder they're top of the league.

The History Boys’ goalie. No wonder they’re top of the league.

Currently top of the Wednesday Division 2 League (and also the team of The Tab’s sports editor), whoever named The History Boys deserves a pat on the back. Not relying on cheap puns, it’s both funny and catchy. Is The History Boys’ league success down to their excellent name? Probably not, but it can’t hurt.

AEK Mathens

Yeah, it’s an OK name, but it’s got nothing on CSKA Roscoe. Still, nicely punny and rhyming, which should be a nice consolation since they’re currently sitting at the back end of the table.

Mathletico Madrid

One of last year's Mathletico socials ... guess the theme?

One of last year’s Mathletico socials … guess the theme?

Former Tab all-stars (a position currently occupied by the stellar ATB FC), Mathletico are sitting pretty at 4th in the Wednesday Division 1 League. Alongside such imaginative team names as ‘Engineering Wednesday’ and ‘Law’, they don’t have much competition for the best name in the league.

Lady Boys

It’s obvious from some of these team names what their players do at Uni. No points for guessing what Mathletico Madrid all do, for example. There’s no such clues in Lady Boys. We respect that.

Inter Yanan

There's another Inter Yanan in Derby. No points for originality, boys.

There’s another Inter Yanan in Derby. No points for originality, boys.

Tailing The History Boys by only 3 points, Inter Yanan may well be honoured with the crowning glory of finishing top of the league and having the best name ever. It’s like ‘enter your nan’, geddit?

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