My Movember – Week 3

This week, I decided that since I had adopted the facial hair, it was time for me to adopt the lifestyle. Hipsterdom, here I come. This meant attending a Vampire Weekend concert, ordering crispy salt and pepper squid at Leaf, and continuing on my quest for Movember glory.

Preppy middle-class musicianship, quirky continental cuisine and a garish goatee: can’t get much hipper than that. Frankly, they were all quite enjoyable experiences, so I think the life of a goateed troubadour might suit me down to the ground.

Trying not to get squid stuck in your ‘stache is a nightmare.

One thing that I’ve been shocked about is how indifferent people are towards my goatee. I’ve been walking around the streets of Kenny with this outlandish facial fuzz protruding from my face for over a week now, and not once have I been laughed at or harassed by Kenny kids.

What is the point, after all, of growing some ridiculous facial hair if people aren’t going to have a laugh at its expense? Oh yeah, to raise awareness for prostate cancer.

So anyways, as you can see my goatee is developing nicely. However, as of Thursday, it’s started to reach the itchy phase which, as you all know, is one step before the getting-food-stuck-in-your-facial-hair phase: a phase that I am even less excited for than I was for the itchy phase.

It’s coming along nicely

Thankfully, however, my goal of resembling a television comedy legend is well in sight at this rate.

 One unexpected thing about having a goatee is that you forget that you have one. You’ll be talking to someone and wonder why they are staring at your mouth, then you’ll remember that you have a goatee and feel all self-conscious about it all of a sudden.

I guess that is the downfall of a goatee, but the upside is that if you ever get bored then you have an instant scratching post to provide hours of entertainment.

Truly, there’s no better form of facial insulation to keep you warm on a cold winter night than a goatee.

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