My Movember: Week 2

I have a confession to make this week. I’m not proud of myself for it but I didn’t shave my beard into a goatee until Friday though I could have done it much sooner. My reason: because I had work experience at a TV production company.

I know, I know. It’s not in keeping with the spirit of Movember to care what people think about your outlandish facial hair but this was a pretty big deal for me. Even though I brushed shoulders with Jeremy Kyle, I was still filled with regret that I didn’t have a magnificent goatee glaring at him.

Now that I have that Movember confessional (monfessional?) out the way, I can move on to what you all came here for: the progress of my goatee.

As you can see, it is still in its early stages and has not quite developed into all its wonder yet. Importantly, the itchy phase has not yet been reached, which I am very, very happy about.

I have been keeping up my regular routine of follicle massages in the hopes that it will inspire especially exquisite facial locks, but only time will tell.

The reactions I got when I unveiled my goatee have been mixed. Some people seem indifferent, philistines I say, and some people seem to appreciate the wonder of my goatee like it is hair equivalent of the second coming of Jesus Christ, the correct response.

I was a bit disheartened when, on the train, I saw a man with a truly heroic moustache and felt a bit ashamed that in the time it has taken me to grow this glorified 5 O’clock shadow, he had been able to whack out a fully-fledged stache.

But then again maybe he was a lifer and it was a year round fashion choice based upon the stylings of his favourite dictators: Josef Stalin, Saddam Hussain, or maybe even Augusto Pinochet. Basically, the point I’m getting at is that in the wrong hands a moustache can be a truly sinister thing.

An example of an evil moustache

That is why I am attempting, instead, to channel the goateed spirits of such genius comedy characters as Flight of the Concords’ Murray Hewitt, The Office’s David Brent and Louis C.K.’s Louie.

A not-so-evil goatee

I have had my goatee for a weekend now and I already feel like it will end up with its own sold out stand-up comedy tour by the end of the month.

Check back next week for more Movember progress

Like The Tab on Facebook and follow us on Twitter