A State of Melancholy Madness

As the nights draw in and reading week approaches, several cases of the deadly mid-term blues have been reported round campus.

Students are urged not to panic although the harsh winds and schizophrenic weather appear to be affecting people’s mood more than usual.

The mix of sunny spells and heavy rain is only worsening the problem

Experts say the infectious disease is caused by a build up of stress during the middle of the semester, often down to looming essay deadlines and a shortage of money.

Symptoms include:

• General lethargy and an unwillingness to get out of bed in the morning
• Spontaneous crying in the library
• An urge to stock up on chocolate, crisps and other sugary snacks
• The need to over-consume on alcoholic beverages in an attempt to blot out the pressures of everyday life

Those prone to the illness are encouraged to go home during reading week to recover and help prevent a widespread outbreak into the neighbouring universities.

For those too depressed to venture home or struck down by severe lethargy, cups of tea and reruns of mind numbing shows such as The Magaluf Weekender are advised.

Focusing on forthcoming celebrations, such as Christmas, are not encouraged as the festive season coincides with exams and so there is a danger this could increase the problem.

Those expected to be hit hardest are final year students who are really beginning to feel the pressure of their last year.

If you know somebody who is suffering from the disease or are worried you might be suffering yourself, go and stick the kettle on urgently.

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