WHORES VS. GORES: THE “SEXY” VAMP

It is that time again ladies and gents, Smiffy’s has put the bouncer on the door. It’s definitely Halloween – one of those holidays that creates a distinct divide between females all around the world. It’s one that raises the all important, all philosophical question for us women – Sluts or guts?

Well, The Tab team and I have seen our fair share of each come every October 31st, and we thought we’d give you a little helping hand. For all you choosing team whore this year – we know 95% of you will – here’s how to achieve the old trusty fave; the “sexy” vampire, featuring my all too willing and naive housemate Danielle.

Disclaimer: Using this makeup does not guarantee you’ll pull those 9/10’s. No matter how little you’ve decided to wear.

1. You want to look a little bit spooky. Not too scary though, you still want to look PeNg. Why else would you have bought your outfit from Ann Summers? Use a pale foundation all over your mug and use a dark, matte bronzer to carve you out some cheekbones (and cover up the horrifying denial that you’ve lost them in the midst of fried chicken.) Apply on the temples also, and then hollow it all out slightly by blending in some black.

2. Now you’re looking completely and utterly vile. I know. Don’t worry babe, it’s going to get better I promise, you’re gonna look well fit. Get those Scouse Brows on and start doing yourself a cheeky smoky eye. Add some black shadow into the equation and you’ve got yourself “dem eyez”.

3. Give yourself a bit of a cat eye with some black liquid liner and add mascara. Falsies will give you more of an impact, and maybe a drink. If you’re lucky.

4. Use a dark purple lip liner and oxblood red lippy to create the perfect vampy pout. I’d recommend sealing this lot off with some Lipcote to make sure it’s not slid down your face by 1am. Add some black eyeshadow in the corners. Dayum girl, you fine.

5. Get some fake blood in on the action to make it sort of obvious what you are. Add it into the corners of your mouth but don’t go too over board – you’ve gotta remember you don’t actually want to look remotely frightening. You just wanna take someone home.

Aaaand you’re done. Combine this look with your favourite baby prostitute outfit and you’re good to go. Perfect time for a selfie.

Now get out there and slut drop to your hearts content.

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