The Tab’s Guide to Walking in High Heels

Even after the recent surge of interest in the lower and kitten heel, it is apparent in Liverpool that not many people take notice of this trend and carry on wearing  5 inch terrors on a night out.

What is completely confusing is how these women manage to walk in these heels (unaided by gin) without gaining an injury (yes, we see many a lady topple in Heebies, but they usually bounce straight back up).  Being a shunner of the stiletto myself, it seemed appropriate to compile a guide to walking in these heels so that we can all survive our Saturday night out…

Ah, the ill fated tumble

1. Once you have put the death traps on, make sure that you take smaller steps and try not to bend your knees as much (this doesn’t include the odd twerk, as this is always acceptable after midnight). The higher the heel, the smaller your stride becomes so TAKE IT SLOW PEOPLE.
2. Walk from your heels to your toes: if you get into the mindset that you’re actually wearing pair of flats then you’re good to go. Shift the weight into your toes, as though you’re tiptoeing, to take the next step.

The Bible: my trusty guide since the age of 15

3. Maintain a good posture: heels are dependent on this, so less of this slovenly slouching and think Audrey Hepburn.

Alexander McQueen, anyone?

4. Practice wearing them around the house: get your hoover on, break in those bad boys and everyone’s happy. If necessary, buy the gel pads: they are a godsend.

5. If you’re still in pain and walking like a decapitated chicken, go and buy a pair with a platform. Giving up doesn’t show weakness, it shows COURAGE (and the fact that you don’t wish to take a trip to A&E).

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