The Tab’s Scouse night out

Strictly Scouse Alex shows the Tab how to pass for a Liverpudlian.


In Liverpool, you can’t avoid the brows, tan and rollers that strut on every street.
Curious to see how it was done, we decided to be shown the ropes and try to be Scouse for a day.

Even though they aren’t afraid to go out in pyjamas, make-up is a must-have.

Looking fresh before our makeover.

Caterpillar eyebrows, plastic lashes and layers of foundation made me feel (and look) like a drag queen.
The face alone seemed to take an hour – how do they do this every day?

It wouldn’t be Scouse if we weren’t showing off our rollers in town, accompanied by a little splurge.
Donning velour tracksuits (hideous but embarrassingly comfy) we hit Liverpool one to see how the look went down.

Rollin’ with the prinnies

Questioned in Costa, pointed at in the streets and subjected to shouts of “nice hair la”… somehow the look might not work for me.
The tourists took pictures and the locals didn’t even take a second glance. The pictures made me feel like a celeb but asking if it’s only acceptable attire if you’re Liverpool, born and bred.

Soz aba you mate … looking a state.

This, accompanied by my strong southern accent didn’t mesh very well.


Safely back at home, it was time to tan.
No stranger to the odd self-tan – pasty legs are commonplace when the north rarely gives sun – but after five layers of this I was glowing orange.
The boys even wanted a piece of the fun as well.

Now to prepare for the night out – even more makeup and the long, painful experience of backcombing. It honestly felt like a cruel Russian ballet coach was pulling me up by my roots, trying to get me to stand on point.

Hairspray on face = rock hard make-up’t impressed with it, laughing and saying I looked like the mum in Mean Girls…

Unimpressed with the look, with my housemates laughed and saying I looked like the mum in Mean Girls…

Wharra wig

They were tempted to join in, a fellow housemate tried it herself and, much to her surprise loved it. She’s already ordered extensions.

The transformation is complete.

Looking boss and ready to try out our best accents we headed into town.


Still on a student budget, we decided to hit Garlands with its  queens on stilts, free toys and smashed locals.

Getting the drinks in, we asked how we looked… (in our rehearsed voices)
It was a resounding “Yes” on the Scouse front – everyone said we looked the part, but not everyone was a fan.

Plastic and fantastic

Within 24 hours masquerading as a Scouser, I was loving the attention and not caring what anybody else thinks.

It’s hard not to wonder how they do it every day though, I think my hair would fall off and my student loan would go entirely towards make-up.


But they do dough don’t they dough. Plus, it’s pya boss.

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