Should I go out tonight?

Yeah ok, we get it, it may be the middle of the exam period and you may have a 3 hour exam at 10 o’clock on Monday morning, but it’s Friday, and if you’re not putting some serious thought into going out tonight, take a long hard look at yourself and question your commitment to student life. 

Image the scenario: You’re in halls and sat at your desk reading some arduous paper by some bumbling fool whose been ranting on about microeconomics for 18 pages. Front and back. The lucky bastard in the room next door to you had her last exam yesterday. What’s more, the fit guy from the floor below did too. Music’s playing from all directions in an orchestra of cheesy rock and pop. Your innate urge to ‘party hard’ and that bottle of Tesco’s own brand ‘vodka’ sat at the end of your desk makes you want to join in the alcohol fuelled fun.

You ultimately end up asking yourself (if you haven’t been pestered already) ‘should I go out tonight?’

With the decision made, which one will you be?

The Jekyll and Hyde

This variation of party-goer normally hasn’t had a decent conversation with you in your life.  Your interaction with them is restricted only to small talk and etiquette. They aren’t the type that you could normally have a conversation with, until you throw alcohol into the mix. All of a sudden they become lively, uber-social and the ideal company for a memorable and quality night out. Usually, those who don’t mind this odd phenomenon are probably already drunk themselves.

 Sir Dance-a-Lot

The life and soul of any night out. It’s always good to have a person who’ll make your group look like they’re having the most fun. There is a point however, when their moves can get a little annoying. The constant showing off whilst knocking over anything they can get their groove on may eventually attract the wrong kind of attention – not to mention said performer making you look a little stiff.

 The Silent Pirate

Sometimes the people you see pre-drinking it up with everyone are people from a random floor. These people are normally repeat offenders, and make no real effort to get to know a single soul, bar the one or two people they know from God knows where.  Not going to lie, it’s awkward. You don’t want to have to sit there and down your beers ’til you’re OK with it and you certainly don’t want to end up alone with them at any point during the night. The mere sight of them constantly makes staying in with pizza and Misfits sound better by the second.

 Citizens of Popworld

There’s nothing wrong with Popworld. Okay, some things are wrong with Popworld: the rowdy nobheads you see pass your window are definitely going there. Not only are they going, but they will stay there for the entire night and this is final. They have their phones charged up and ready to be the one to post the wittiest message on the big screen. A little Popworld can be tolerated, but in large inebriated groups and nothing less.

The Houdini

The disappearing act is the oldest trick in their book.  They first do a bunch of crazy moves (it’s all about the showmanship) and then in a blink of an eye they’re gone.  Either disappearing with the aid of a ‘glamorous assistant’, on their own or a group of them vanishing simultaneously, you’re always going to be left paying a tenner for the taxi back on your own.  Leaving you stunned – granted – but not impressed at all.

With common sense prevailing, you would think you’d just stay in and get a decent sleep so that you’re mentally prepared for your last exam next week. But, it’s a Friday and you’re done using your brain for a bit.

If when it comes to getting your results, and your parents ask why you’ve done particularly shit on your last exam, blame us. Tell them The Tab said it was OK to go out and all will be forgiven…

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