Climbing the Pyramid: Cammell Laird FC

Saturday afternoon: blue skies, a not-so-blue Mersey River, and over on the Wirral, blue football shirts. Those jerseys belong to Cammell Laird FC, chiseling the next stone block in the Merseyside football pyramid.

Cammell Laird: shipbuilders with a football team

Known locally as Lairds, the tier 8 outfit play in the Northern Premier League Division One North (one above last fortnights visit to AFC Liverpool). They’re based in Rock Ferry. When buying a train ticket the operator was keen to confirm I wasn’t buying a single. “Nobody ever wants to stay in Rock Ferry”.

Owing their formation to the shipbuilding company of the same name, Lairds were originally founded back in 1907. But as the Merseyside marine industry has slowly been sinking to the sea floor over the past decades, on the football pitch things look rather more bountiful. In the past 10 years Lairds have been promoted three times and relegated just once. This season they’ve made it to the quarter finals of the Challenge Cup, knocking out more distinguished clubs in the process. Things are looking up. Lairds are ninth in the league currently, placing them at joint 169th in the entire English league system.

Adam ‘Motty’ Siddorn (left) and Phill Wilkinson: Masters of Ceremonies at Kirklands Stadium

I arrive at the 1500 capacity (250 seated) Kirklands Stadium with time to spare. I ask the bloke at the turnstiles for a ticket but he gives me a blank stare. “A ticket? Won’t get one of those here mate”.

I hand over six quid and he lets me through. Disappointingly I get nothing in return. Times are hard and The Tab won’t budge on its expenses policy.

Oh well. I decide I may as well go all out and buy a pie to cheer me up. Immediately things take a turn for the better. Microwaved to perfection – and with a delicate concoction of brown juice and unknown meat – this was a real step up from my previous pastry experience.

A four star pie. Note the perfectly crisp edges and stunning pattern work

Still munching I opt for a seating position. Fortunately demand isn’t too high and there is choice, though I plump for one closer to the other ‘home’ supporters – a Dad and his kid (whose own loyalty is questionable as he is sporting a Liverpool tracksuit top). To my right I notice two stocky lads clutching microphones. Live match commentary on the radio – surely not? One of them is “fuming” and “doesn’t want to commentate” such is the distress. Nevertheless, after a calming pre match cigarette he takes a seat next to his co-commentator.

Peep peep. The game begins and before my stomach knows what has hit it the opponents Ossett Town are ahead. Within 10 minutes Lairds have responded with two superbly taken goals (it may be easy to make fun but these guys are still very talented footballers).

Lairds swept over Ossett Town like the sky overhead

At half time and with Lairds 4-2 up I have a chat with the commentators. They are Phill and Adam, working unpaid for 7waves 92.1 radio to provide listeners on the Wirral with an authentic matchday experience, home and away. They shout when Lairds score, they groan when Lairds concede. They give updates concerning Everton and the biggest team on the peninsula: Tranmere.

Here at the Kirklands Stadium there are no more goals. Everyone leaves but nobody goes home. Liverpool are about to kickoff and the nearby pub is showing it live.

Final score: Cammell Laird FC 4 – 2 Ossett Town
Attendance: 32
Pie Factor: ****