Ghastly Goalie Errors

After last week’s result, All The Boys FC were looking forward to another 6-pointer special with real enthusiasm, knowing a win in both games would send us into the rarefied air of 12th place.

Unfortunately, ‘Old Man’ Obi was unavailable for the match as he had started yet another marathon monopoly game. This put cranky Croat Maticevic in a foul mood. It seems the two are set for crisis talks in the coming week.

With only one substitute, lazy ‘G’, the boys were prepared for an exhausting evening. The first game against ‘Red Star Rathbone’ was fraught with Eastern European rivalries, as Maticevic took offence at the allusion to the Serbian team Red Star Belgrade, the rival of his beloved Dinamo Zagreb.

Martin getting stuck in. Literally.

Brown scored another screamer that went in off the crossbar, and Atherton played some excellent balls into Sawko Bayern who went on to score 3 more. The main talking point in the game was G’s decision to pull a Tevez by refusing to come on as a sub. He was far too tired from his 5 minute run-out earlier.

ATB FC had a great start to the game piling pressure on the wannabe Serbians. Pressure was eventually turned into a fantastic goal by Brown, who put in yet another man of the match performance, with a driven shot into the bottom corner.

The Boys could have added to their tally with Polish no.9 Sawko, only denied by a good save in a one-on-one.

However, as the game wore on, the very physical game played by Red Star wore down the Boys, with Butler and Maticevic playing very well to hold off the attacks. The temperature of the game was raised somewhat by Rathbone appealing for a penalty over a technicality about a back pass (an interesting appeal considering there wasn’t a referee about).

With substitute G not offering much in his short appearance (apparently light jogging completely knackers him out) and Atherton constrained by a stray football to the bollocks(from another game), Rathbone’s attacks had a certain inevitability about them.

The defence were holding out well until your reporter embarrassed himself yet again: a shot from the corner rebounded from the back wall into the goalies’ lanky leg to end up in the goal. This freak goal produced a glare so terrible from ‘The Boss’ Maticevic that the gangly goalie is reported to have burn marks in the back of his head. Although the team felt a draw was probably a fair result, the late error still rankled.

A work of photographic art

From the off it was clear the 2nd game against Bayern Neverlusen (they’ve actually lost 8 games) wasn’t going to be a success. Butler put in a fantastic man of the match display but an early goal that went through the keeper’s legs (again) set the tone for the evening. Although Brown scored another screamer that went in off the crossbar and Atherton played some excellent balls into Sawko, Bayern went on to score 3 more. The main talking point in this game was G’s decision to pull a Tevez by refusing to come on as a sub as he was far too tired from his 5 minute run-out earlier.

In a post-match interview, ATB Manager declared his disappointment:

“This was not a true reflection of ATB’s performance but all the lads got stuck in… except G who really does have something to prodigal about now.”

In a new feature it has been decided the worst player on Friday evenings will have to carry round a wooden spoon all week. This week your lanky uncoordinated reporter has the dishonour of carrying this wooden mark of shame.

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