All By Myself

V-day: the one day in the year you’re obliged to crack out Bridget Jones and the mandatory ‘I’m going to be alone forever’ face.

Juicy Single Valetine's Day

There’s just something about February 14. For one day in the year, PDAs are acceptable and love conquers all.

There’s some universal force making you want to chase the postman down the road, insisting there must be a card in there somewhere; some unwritten rule you can’t leave the house alone without becoming that desperate singleton.

The thing is, we’re laughing for the rest of the year. No over-analysing texts, no spending a month’s wages on Christmas/birthday/in laws (delete as appropriate) and no having to put them first.  Those smug couples can walk past you on a daily basis without forcing you in to a mid-student-life single crisis.

It might be the second most popular event worldwide, but here are three reasons why Valentine’s Day is guaranteed to ruin this Thursday.

1. That super hot guy you got with in first year now has a less than average girlfriend, and don’t we know about it.  

You were single, he was single. Now he’s drooling over her like a puppy dog while you’re left wondering what went wrong. Of course she’ll be all over him in private (something one can only dream of) and they’ll be all over your Facebook. No one wants to read how in love you all are and we definitely don’t want to see rose petals, bubble baths and bouquets.  Overcompensating much?

Stupid Cupid certainly got that one wrong

2.  We can’t go to Juicy.

Missing Bumper last year was hard, but this is ten times worse.  We’re already dodging sickly love messages all over fb, but now we have to actively avoid predatory sex pests, inevitably descending on Juicy looking for love. Although undoubtedly hilarious to watch, it has the potential to turn into AU on speed. And that’s definitely not acceptable unless you’re in fancy dress and necking shots. Shipping Forecast is far too pricey for that level of inebriation.

Cosmo tells me 70% of men just want sex on V-day. This picture tells me otherwise (just look at those eyes flying around).

3. We can’t even go to Tesco for a bottle of wine without taking on the role of a manic depressive.  

Facebook, Juicy, and now an innocent trip to Tesco for wine. Can this day take anything else away from us?

 

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8iTZm8-mbA[/youtube]

 

Let us not be bitter. Let them have their day. Come Friday night on Concert Square, they’ll be having domestics and we’ll be loving life out on the town.

P.S. See you at Juicy?

 

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