BOREDCASTING on: The Only Way Is Essex… Live!

This week Boredcasting’s HANNAH CLARE watches TOWIE Live and, somewhat surprisingly, still finds it a little… staged.

james argent jessica wright joey essex lauren pope the only way is essex towie

This week I talk TOWIE, after experiencing the biggest television event of the week on Sunday and Monday night: a TOWIE double bill, with the second episode being broadcast live. It’s bare reem bruv.

I’ll let you into a little secret, readers – I don’t really watch TOWIE much, but frankly it’s because it makes me a little bit homesick, hailing from Essex as I do. But TOWIE Live is an event that’s not to be missed, so I grabbed a cuppa and sat down in front of my TV ready for the most anticipated event of the week. Unfortunately, it didn’t deliver.

The episode on Sunday was setting the scenes for Monday’s live episode with two main threads running through – Arg putting on a charity show (named the Arg Charity Cabaret, which, as Gemma continually pointed out through the episode, was more about Arg than charity) and Joey wondering whether he should propose to Sam, who on Monday was dressed like a bauble. It was Sunday’s episode that impressed me most.

It had some hilarious moments, which often involved Joey ‘can-someone-really-be-that-thick’ Essex, such as him calling 118 for Harry Styles’s number. There was also the expected drama of Gemma delivering Arg some home truths and then going to bitch about him to Nanny Pat, and the episode made me wonder whether I should watch TOWIE more often.

However, the problem with Monday’s live episode was that it was too fake. I know, it sounds insane, considering everyone can tell how scripted TOWIE is, but this was far, far worse than normal. Everything was stilted and prepared. Even Jess’s performance of her new single (woo?) was mimed.

TOWIE Live didn’t feel live at all and ended up rather stale. From the opening sequence of Arg walking around in half a tux and his pants, to Chloe’s plastic face, which appears incapable of movement, attempting to look surprised at some news she’d been told 10000 times in the rehearsals they clearly had. There were no camera mistakes and they still managed to put the names on the screen while people were talking. And plus, the performances they did show from the charity show were really naff. Really.

Would I watch TOWIE again? Probably, and the advert for The Only Way is EsseXmas at the end made me slightly excited. But would I watch it if they were to broadcast live again? Not a chance.

Next week I will be talking Merlin, as the show finally draws to a close.