They Think It’s All Over…Well, It’s Only Just Started

University football is back.

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I apologise for my title’s irreverence to Kenneth Wolstenholme’s immortal piece of commentary, but I feel it’s important to tell our readers here at The Tab that the 2012/13 Campus Football league has finally kicked off! (In more ways than one….)

Yes, fellow football fans – male or female, young or old, footballing moralist or Spurs fan (I know who you are), we can finally look forward to The Tab’s unprecedented coverage of University of Liverpool Campus Football this season, and I will be the first to apologise for our belatedness on the matter. (Around 192 hours late to the chase, but who’s counting?)

The past week of football has already been mired in controversy, namely in the Sunday Second Division in which FC Medics took on newly promoted Dynamo Roscoe on Sunday 21st October.

The game turned sour after only 10 minutes. Dynamo Roscoe captain Jonathon Atkinson, not a stranger to a red card, may I add, was some would say, harshly red carded for an off-the-ball challenge on FC Medics’ pre-pubescent left winger, affectionately known to his teammates as ‘Styles’. For the record, this co-editor does not agree with any man being proud to be associated with a member of One Direction.

Perennially angry Jon Atkinson saw red again.

Atkinson’s side went onto lose an embarrassing 11-0 to FC Medics after having to play out the remaining 80 minutes with 10 men. FC Medics were controlled like marionettes by a  footballing puppeteer ironically wearing a shirt emblazoned with ‘Mido’ on the back. (Cue scores of angry Middlesbrough fans complaining to The Tab.)

However, Atkinson will be looking for his side to regain some pride this Sunday against FC BioMed Sunday who also got off to a losing start last week against Dale Madrid in a 3-1 defeat.

Sorry, Mido, no one’s praising YOU.

Reigning First Division champions Mathletico Madrid got their 2012/13 campaign off to a flying start with an 8-3 win over McNair Old Boys on Wednesday 24th October. The goal scoring behemoth that is Sean Heggarty started his season by scoring a staggering 4 goals. Rumour has it that only one droplet of sweat escaped his brow during the entire 90 minutes.

Rumour has it that only one droplet of sweat escaped his brow during the entire 90 minutes.

There were three other standout results from the first round of Wednesday First Division games: FTSE XI, the Management School, beat Politics emphatically 6-0; Engineers destroyed BioMed FC 8-1, and the Christian Union crusaded to a 7-2 victory over The History Boys.

Over the next coming weeks the sports team here at The Tab will endeavour to bring to you as many match reports from across all the Wednesday and Sunday leagues. This will also include reports from the Women’s Campus League.

This week, however, I am only be able to provide you with a Gillette Soccer Saturday-esque classified results roundup, but if you read the results in an older, gently tone, you’ll be guaranteed something 99.8% accurate to the real experience:

Wednesday Division 1:

L 17/10/12 Engineering Wed 8 – 1 Biomed FC
L 17/10/12 FTSE XI 6 – 0 Politics
L 17/10/12 Football Club (C.U.F.C) 7 – 2 The History Boys
L 17/10/12 Law 2 – 1 McNair Old Boys

Wednesday Division 2:

L 17/10/12 E=Emile Heskey Squared 6 – 3 Rankin 2nd years
L 17/10/12 Frumba FC 2 – 0 R&G FC
L 17/10/12 History FC 1 – 3 SOCLAS Wed

Sunday Division 1:

L 21/10/12 Dentistry 6 – 0 Politics Sun
L 14/10/12 Munchenglad-to-do-maths 4 – 2 Architecture
L 14/10/12 Earth Science 3 – 4 Physiotherapy
L 14/10/12 Engineering Sun 2 – 5 Medics A
L 14/10/12 FC SOCLAS 3 – 1 Salisbury 3rd Year

Sunday Division 2:

L 21/10/12 Dynamo Roscoe 0 – 11 The Medics FC
L 21/10/12 Environmental Sciencies 0 – 3 Red Star Rathbone
L 21/10/12 Law Sun 3 – 2 Mersey Shore
L 21/10/12 Medics B 1 – 2 Villa Dale
L 14/10/12 Dale Madrid 3 – 1 Biomed FC Sun

Sunday Division 3:

L 21/10/12 Athletico Vine Court 3 – 0 Accrington Manly
L 21/10/12 Carnatic XI 0 – 3 Vine Grove FC
L 21/10/12 Mulberry Court 1 – 9 Vets Football
L 21/10/12 R&G FC Sun 3 – 0 Vine Court FC