Top Tips for success in uni sport

From football to kung fu, hockey to handball and rugby to wrestling, there’s an array of sport to get involved in. Here’s The Tab’s guide to success in sporting endeavour during your years in the ‘pool.

En garde!

No matter what sport you’re trying out for, there will always be a lot of competition. Try doing something that will seriously stand out to the team selectors. Good or bad, at least you will prove memorable in what can sometimes be very badly organised trials.

The Tab would never suggest anything too bad (no leg breaking tackles or any Ashton – Tuilagi style bust ups) but the hard tackle here or there, just to show commitment, should do the trick. Failing this, try doing something good. Make sure you’re on your game: score a worldy; weave through the back line to score an incredible try or do something good to do with table tennis (The Tab will admit it does not know that much about Table Tennis.) Just ensure you stand out!

With a majority of university life revolving around drinking and ‘getting on it’, it’s no surprise university sport is the same. Team initiations are legendary affairs throughout the country and Liverpool is certainly no exception to the rule – just take a trip to The Brookhouse on Smithdown for an example. Now, do not be put off in trying out for a team because of the initiation, but do beware – they are no mean feat.

From naked ‘slap rugby’ on winter nights, eating cat food whilst dressed as school girls and downing pint after pint only for an interval of press ups, sport initiations are a sure fire way for you to throw up all over your brand new Pound Land wigs and inflatable breasts. The Tab’s main tip for surviving your baptism of fire is to fight through the throw up! Naturally, The Tab cannot control the strength of your Fresher stomachs, but no matter how bad it gets, keep going to earn your team mates’ respect and most importantly a place on that starting team. The Tab also suggests praying that your team takes mercy, which would probably help too.

Josh Harbourne, a Tab sport editors, said: “One of my teams, Dynamo Roscoe, did the Ladyboy challenge and on the same night we all went out dressed as retro footballers – we were on the pints of Stella mixed with protein shakes, eggs and tabasco.”

Liverpool Hope’s rugby captain said: ‘Initiations are a great way to bring the team together and to welcome the first years. It acts as a hazing process for the team which is really helpful for morale and performances on match day!’

Tab tip: stand out in your trials

There are several ways we suggests you achieve this.

Firstly, be part of a good gene pool – if your dad is Ian Rush or your second cousin twice removed is the Liverpudlian former sprinter and current Great Britain bob sleigh team member Allyn Condon, then hopefully this top tip should be easy to achieve.

Secondly, do lots of training. The Tab can confirm that natural ability or fortunate gene pools are quite hard to come by, so another way of making sure you’re tip top at your sport is by doing lots of training.

Thirdly, don’t drink your fitness away. Despite the obvious contradiction and conflict of interests here, sports players need to be physically fit (darts does not count as a sport.) Try to make sure that you’re not coughing up a lung within ten minutes of your handball match. Don’t throw up on the side of the basketball court before the end of the first period. Easy.

Follow these tips and hopefully you’ll find yourself in the starting 11, starting 15 or the starting… one (more table tennis banter).

Good luck readers, and be sure to look out for more Tab Top Tips in the future!