The 2020 Love Islanders as Lincoln students

Leanne will offer to drive the whole flat to Morrisons, but Ollie’s still getting an Uber Eats 3 times a day


Have you ever wondered what the cast of this year’s Winter Love Island would be like if they went to Lincoln Uni? Yeah… me neither. But we made it for you anyway.

No doubt you've cried on the shoulder of a Leanne, kissed a Connor at quack – too much teeth? – or maybe had to hold the hand of a Paige to stop yourself from stacking it off a Keller bench. A night out isn't complete without a wholesome chat with a Mike in the smoking area, or a drunk Ollie regrettably buying everyone a round of vodka cokes. Either way, here's your favourite group of people at uni.

Shaughna – The fun mum

She is your best friend and arguably the best gal of the group.

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Tea.

She is a verified member of Lincoln's Women in Work society because she's that bitch. You admire her drive and ambition, and she'll always guilt you into going to your 9am lecture.

Her elite taste in nights out will lead her to Moka's Superbull, and she will host pres every Friday without fail. Catch her chatting up the boys with a glass of Beefeater's Pink Gin mixed with lemonade.

You know she's going to be successful when she graduates, that Politics degree will get her far.

Leanne – The serious friend

She is there for you on a night out.

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When she sees you ordering an 8th round of Jäger bombs.

She will look after your drink, protect you from any overly-touchy rugby lads and will always text to make sure that you got to Maccies okay.

Leanne studies Medicine and her biggest flex is her ability to still attend every 9am lecture after downing 9 vodka cokes at Quack the night before.

Sophie – The barbie

She swears "Events Management" is real degree… And that rounders is a real sport.

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Seriously?

With a secret love for indie/alternative music, her favourite night out is Moka's Blah blah blah. If she can find anyone willing to come with her, she will dance with her best girl friends just long enough until she catches the attention of the fit lad at the bar.

He will be buying her a Vodka and Orange.

Siânnise – The annoying one

Studies Geography and will never stop bragging about the gap year she spent travelling.

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Stop trying to make Fudge happen, Karen.

She plays Lacrosse.

Her favourite night is Home's Union on Tuesdays. She has the money to pay for expensive drinks out, but instead she'll have a bottle of Echo Falls at pres and cry over a boy she shagged over 4 years ago.

Paige – The one still obsessed with her ex

Music, because, well, natural talent.

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Dare you to take a stein home.

Couldn't get into a preforming arts college, so landed herself an unconditional spot at Lincoln and joined the drama society. That's basically the same thing, right?

If it's not karaoke at the Swan on a Wednesday, she's spending her nights out at Bierkeller jumping on benches with two steins in her hands.

She's all fun and games, until the boy she fancies says hello to a girl from his course. "Why don't you just marry her", she screams over the table.

Four words; Sex on the Beach.

Eve & Jess – Sisters before misters?

Studies Psychology and believes that telepathy is a thing.

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Boys will never come between us. I promise.

The two girls that will never leave each others side. They were besties all through school, and naturally chose the same uni, too.

They go to Home's Bounce every Thursday night, and have no trouble sharing a toilet stall when it gets too busy… Or not. Do people go to Bounce?

Their favourite drink is tequila, obviously.

Callum – Sporty spice

With dreams of becoming the country's best primary school P.E teacher, Callum has wisely chosen Sports Development as a degree.

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Anyone up for a 5am gym sesh?

He's in the football society. And the Football Supporters society. He also blindly joined ESports during freshers, but quit after realising League of Legend is not a football league.

Plus, they don't have cheerleaders.

Connor – The alcoholic

Definitely only went to go to uni for the experience. He let his mates choose his degree and ended up taking Dentistry on a dare.

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Punching high.

A proud member of Lincoln's Pub Crawl society.

He is smashed on Stella Artois every night out, but still manages to pull regardless of the state he's in. Couldn't get into the club? Don't worry, he'll have already pulled in the queue.

His go-to story at pres is that one time he had a threesome.

Mike – The nice one

Yeah… He's nice. That't it.

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Will take his shirt off at any given opportunity.

He does Maths because his mum said it's a good-boy subject. Really wanted to get into modelling for Men's Health magazine, but Maths is more 'realistic'.

He prefers a chill night at Tower Bar with a pint of good ol' orange juice. Smooth.

Ollie – The posh twat

Is completely surprised at the fact that people don't like him.

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Wears sunglasses indoors. And in lectures.

Studies Law.

You wonder why he's even at Lincoln, somewhere like Durham seems a better fit.

He lives in the most expensive accommodation on campus because daddy's money can pay for it. He joined the Vegetarian & Vegan society in an attempt to better his reputation.

He'll take you to The Barge but won't pay the bill because, equality.

Nas – The friend you forgot existed

Studies something irrelevant, like History.

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This is awkward.

A late bloomer – you kick yourself now for not making a move in first year.

He's probably in the Chess club. People might hate on it, but you bet, they have some lit nights out at Quack's after-party, the infamous Fever.

Someone has to, right?

Finley – The rugby lad

He studies Journalism, for some reason.

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Rugby: once you've dated one, you've dated them all.

Looks like he could be a mature student, but it'd be rude to ask. He can drink six bottles of mini Orange and Passion fruit VKs at once, although what untolds afterwards is not pretty. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

You'll find him out literally every night, everywhere, but he has a secret love for Lincoln's The Scene gay bar. He enjoyed the Rugby night out where everyone had to wear skirts a little too much.

Shh, don't tell the team.