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Legitimate reasons why Jack and Dani do not deserve to win Love Island

They’re just friends who kiss!!


Jack and Dani have been the guiding light for this country these past six weeks, the only duo more iconic than Gareth Southgate and his waistcoat. Night after night we have witnessed Jack flash his pearly whites as he gazes at Dani, making us believe in love again. In a villa full of mugging and "loyalty", everyone's backing them to win – Jack and Dani are a beacon of hope.

Except they're not. Call me a cynic, call me a killjoy, but Jack and Dani do not deserve to win Love Island.

When there are contestants like Megan and Wes willing to sacrifice their dignity and reputations for a shot at 50k and a Boohoo sponsorship deal, what have they done? Hell, Jack and Dani haven't even shagged yet, isn't that a prerequisite for Love Island?

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Young love's dream

They're playing out the token wholesome storyline

They might be young love's dream, but they're also a tad bland and vanilla for the UK's most popular reality TV show of the moment. Sure, we'd all like to believe that true love does exist and it can be found in a villa in Mallorca with 24/7 cameras, but the thing is reality TV isn't real. The producers are making a show, and they need a pure and wholesome love story: enter Jack and Dani. Every night, we witness the two of them flutter their eyelashes at each other for five minutes, calm their friends down after they cause some real drama, and go to bed in each other's celibate arms.

The producers can manipulate the footage to show anything they want. Think about the way Georgia has been perceived before it was revealed that the kiss was filmed twice and staged. Maybe Jack and Dani spend the other 23 hours and 55 minutes we don't see barely talking and realising there is literally nothing between them. It's a show people, and Jack and Dani are the Monica and Chandler of it.

Jack and Dani's Conversations

I mean.. does anyone know what they're on about half the time?

Posted by The Holy Church of Love Island on Friday, June 22, 2018

We don't give up an hour each day for harmony and happiness – we need drama

The fact is that Love Island is all about the drama. Would you honestly want to watch Dani and Jack carbon copies tell each other "I proper like you Jack!!" for two whole months? No. You want to see Laura and Megan's exchange of "did she just call me a slag?" "YEAH I DID JUST CALL YER A FUCKING SLAG YER STUPID BITCH." You want to see Georgia tell everyone "you know me babes, I'm loyal", before kissing her mate's man. You want to see Eyal and Charlie destroy Hayley for playing the dumb blonde. It's what makes the show what it is, not two people sat around discussing their feelings for hours on end.

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Where is the DRAMA

Megan has become public enemy number one just to have a shot at the 50k, taking risks and making enemies left right and centre – she's made the show this year. She's taken risks and contributed more to the show in one episode than Jack and Dani have since the beginning of June. Dani and Jack bring so little drama to the show that if you'd have blinked, you'd have missed the brief issue of Jack's ex entering the villa. Come on Dani, don't have a glass of sangria with your man's ex, give us some classic lines to plaster on Primark t-shirts.

Is the chemistry even real?

Not to put too fine a point on it, but where is the sexual chemistry between these two "lovebirds"? So Dani made a promise to her dad to not have sex on TV, but it's Love Island, where in past seasons there have been daily scenes of five couples going at it in opposing beds. Sure, having sex on national television isn't everyone's cup of tea, but when you're so loved up and have been together a golden six weeks, surely the urge to tear each other's clothes off overrules any promise to not screw on TV?

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The good old days

So maybe Megan and Wes are fake and only acting loved up for the cameras. And Laura, Josh, Georgia, and Kaz truly are heartless and soulless beings intent on making misery for their fellow contestants. Who cares? They've caused more carnage and inspired more memes than Jack and Dani will even if they make it to 15 years from now when Jack is still making Dani a spag bol.

Sorry Jani, but love is dead and I don't buy your daily five minutes of puppy eyes.