How do these average people think they have such a fan base
Instagram story has brought a lot of light to my life: I get to see friends drinking one too many tequilas on a night out, the Kardashians on holiday and hot people who live in Bali eating better looking food than what's in front of me.
But if there is one segment of Instagram story which is making me do the smh emoji and gagging, it's bang average celebrities (if you can even call them that) asking their followers for feedback on what content they should be uploading.
"Morning guys!!!!" they say to camera, walking along the street wearing a fedora with their gym kit, holding an ice coffee. "What kind of content do you guys want today? Are we thinking more food, or skincare? Let me know guys and I'll do it!"
Culprits include Made in Chelsea's top sulker Frankie Gaff, Survival of the Fittest's James Middleton and Student Problem's CEO Steve Bartlett. They all think they have such a fan base of people who actually care about them droning on about a new beauty product, what they're buying in Whole Foods today or how many star jumps they did in the gym. The bulk of their "fans" are probably 14-year-old girls who spend all day DMing anyone with a blue tick. Steve even offers one "lucky" person a prize if they comment on his posts!:
These celebs aren't the only ones either. Normal people with normal lives and 650 Instagram followers are doing it also, asking their mates whether they want to see posts about fitness, beauty, food, skincare or fashion that day. Look Sophie, I don't mean to be rude, but I couldn't give a fuck if you've gone to Superdrug today and no, I don't want you to review the new Rimmel mascara.
But back to the D-listers who are clinging on to any form of influence they have before they're completely forgotten into reality TV darkness. They'll put up a 20 segment Instagram story after two people (it shows up as 50 per cent though) voted in their poll on whether today's mind-numbing broadcast is going to be about food or make up.
Three loyal teens hit the food option, so off they go to their kitchen in their lovely West London apartment, which unjustly you will never be able to afford. "Okay guys you voted food (!!) so today I'm going to show you how to make a halloumi salad", they say on part eight of their Insta story. "It's got halloumi, sweet potato, avocado and pepper in it. Oh wait, there's no pepper, hahaha silly me what am I like!" they cackle into the screen, leaving you sat there thinking why would you not just delete that video and retake it if you aren't including red pepper in the recipe???
The next 14 Instagram story videos are of them making their three ingredient salad, or applying their foundation. They screenshot DMs they've received, captioned "LOVE you guys, you guys are the BEST!!!" and act like how I imagine Beyoncé, Hayley Baldwin or Millie Bobby Brown would do, you know, people with actual influence.
Then comes the Instagram post. The salad, in all its sad, miserable glory, looking close to something you would find either in a supermarket meal deal section or a Year 7 food tech room, is grammed with the largest caption. #health #fitness #avo #teamself #clean #mindbodygram, and 15 other hashtags which make you think WHY am I still following this person appear, and the monkey emojis are present at least 50 per cent of the time.
Frankie, James, and others – they're just average people doing seemingly average day-to-day things, with zero personality and only their 9/10 keeping them afloat. Please stop asking followers for feedback on Instagram because PSA, literally no. one. cares.
Other articles you might like about Instagram: