Everything you’ll hear in the girls’ loo on a Lincoln night out

‘We need a picture with the bull’

clubbing girls toilets lincoln Students

No matter where your fave place is to get down in Lincoln, you would have deffo heard these lines while you’re out and about. And if you haven’t, you were obvs way too drunk to remember.

‘I need some cheesy chips!’

Despite the fact you’ve only been at Union 20 minutes, this person has been complaining about their undying hunger since pres. You promise them, if they stick it out until two, you’ll head to Capri or venture to King Kebab for some grease. This seems to calm them and you move on with your night… before ending up outside Efe’s covered in garlic sauce at 3am. At least they’ve stopped moaning.

Can you ever have too much garlic sauce?

‘I can’t believe he dumped me!’

These girls will be found in Entourage, wearing their LBD and their highest heels. They look good and they know it, but it’s all part of their not-so-secret master plan to win back Callum who they snogged in Freshers’ Week. Unfortunately, Callum has taken a liking to Leah, so these girls are on a mission to win him back… or at least show him what he is missing. Usually found on the dance floor twerking to Drake, they take regular breaks in the loo to make sure their eyeliner looks perfect for when they “bump” into Callum.

‘We need to get a selfie’

You might think the Engine Shed toilets make a fab background for your piccy, but it doesn’t hide the fact that your mascara is smeared halfway down your face and there’s chun on your boots. Plus, the male members of your team are currently glaring at you as they wait by the dryers. Not like you’ve noticed.

‘If I hear Stacy’s Mom one more time…’

The exasperation is clear in this girl’s voice; she’s been at Props since 11pm and has heard Stacy’s Mom four times, Teenage Dirtbag three times and Mr Brightside too many times to count and it’s beginning to drive her insane. She will spend a few weeks actively avoiding Propaganda, before giving into the cheap alcohol and returning week after week, even if Stacy’s Mom gets stuck in her head.

‘Omg I love your top!’

This girl looks like she has just stepped off the runway; she’s wearing that top you liked in River Island a few weeks ago, and those heels you saw on ASOS but were too skint to buy. She’s basically living the life you want to lead, and it makes you question your outfit choice of jeans and a hastily shoved on body suit. Then you remember it’s Quack; there’s a blow-up duck outside and you won’t remember this in the morning but you still gush over her top before leaving to down some VKs.

‘Hurry up, I want a picture with the Bull’

Usually found hogging the mirrors, applying and reapplying their lipstick, puffing up their hair and pouting in the mirror. They look fine but they want to make sure they look ‘extra-fine’ for their photo with the Bull. Once they leave you can begin washing the copious amounts of vodka off you before you leave to find your mates and drag them into a photo with the beloved club character.

‘I can’t believe I have a 9am’

Usually uttered by an unsuspecting fresher or a guilty third year – you better believe you will not be walking past the Brayford any later than midday. And why would you? Aggressive swans and train line crossings are not what any girl wants when she’s hanging.