All the people you’ll meet in your 9am lecture

You know the feeling: you have a 9am lecture, you’ve stumbled around and somehow managed to drag yourself to the Co-op lecture theatre for what can only be described as a waste of sleep.

Everyone else in  the lecture theatre looks the same as you at first glance, but they probably all fall into one of the following categories. The question is: which one are you?

The noisy eater 

So you could argue that a 9am leaves very little time for breakfast, but whether the lecture occurs at 9am or 1pm this person is always eating.

Armed with what seems to be the entirety of the Spa corner shop, this person spends the entire lecture with one hand in a crisp packet and the other writing notes.

The walking hangover 

Wearing their UoL hoody, brandishing a cup of coffee from the QUAD and giving off a faint smell of jagerbombs, you know this person partied too hard at Quack the night before.

Sighing in relief as the lights are turned off, only to put their head on their desk and use the lecture as an opportunity for a nap and you’re surprised they’ve made it at all.

The girl who always looks amazing 

While you were still stumbling around in the dark, trying to find your toothbrush this person was making themself presentable, and by presentable I mean ‘ready to work London Fashion Week’.

With not a hair out of place, clothes that would rival the Kardashian’s and eyeliner so expertly applied you have to wonder why so much effort was put into sitting in a warm lecture theatre for an hour.

The one everyone fancies 

With the boyish good looks of Brad Pitt, or the perfect pout of Scarlett Johansson this person looks waaaay too good to be on your course. Sometimes you catch yourself paying more attention to the back of their head than to the lecture at hand, but it is totally worth it.

The one who does ALL of the recommended reading 

Sat at the front with two notepads, a pack of highlighters and an eagerness that shouldn’t be there at 9am in the morning you will find this person frantically scribbling throughout the lecture.

While you dream of throwing yourself in the Quay to combat how bored you feel, this person could not be more interested. You will find them staring intently at the lecturer and laughing at every literary pun while you try not to fall asleep.

The no-show

You remember this person from Freshers’ Week when they were dancing manically to ‘Single Ladies’ while dressed like the Joker at Superfresh. Yet that was the last time you saw this person.

Now into the second semester you can’t help but wonder where they are. Are they ok? Have they been eaten by the swans? We may never find out.

The latecomer

“Sorry I’m late, I had to collect all the cups…”

Entering the lecture theatre, throwing a monosyllabic ‘sorry’ to the lecturer before taking the only seat free this person is always late. You can’t help but wonder why they never seem to make it on time, especially since your lecture is in the same place every week but here they are, arriving 10 minutes into the lecture with a Costa Coffee cup in hand.