Cheer up: Lincoln rate ourselves as ugly and stupid

This week Student Money Saver’s alternative university league table revealed we all think we’re all unnattractive and miserable. Thanks guys.

The survey, which rated over 1,000 students from across the UK on their beauty, ability to buy drugs, and party animal tendencies.

Lincoln’s uni students obviously don’t find themselves very attractive as they scored themselves a mere 2.4 out 5 when quizzed on how fit they thought they were.

This is compared to other uni’s such as the University of East London, who gave themselves a very high rating of 4.33. Where’s the self-love Lincoln?

Another embarrassing finding is that we only scored ourselves a 3.1 out of 5 on the intelligence scale. Perhaps Will Mckenzie’s criticism will forever crush our self-confidence.

But at least we can block out the pain, as the survey went on to reveal 50 per cent of Lincoln students said they could get drugs within 24 hours if they wanted to. Is this an accomplishment for us?

ut we won’t be happy about it, in terms of cheerfulness we’re lagging behind again as we only scored ourselves a 3.5 out 5 on the happiness scale.

we are actually pretty happy

Although we are apparently not be the chirpiest of the bunch, we certainly can’t be accused of being minging as we only scored 20 per cent when asked whether we were the most disgusting students in the UK. Small victories.

We also spotted that Lincoln uni is apparently not the place where funny students are, scoring ourselves a 2.7 out of 5. 

So funny tho

The worst finding of all from this survey which is actually pretty appalling is that our uni only has 20 per cent of party animals in its attendance. Lincoln this is shocking, we need to up our game.

James Felton from Student Money Saver, said: “Conventional university league tables give a great indication of the academic side of universities, but what they don’t tell you is what your life is going to be like, and who you’ll be spending your years of university with.

“There isn’t really this kind of data anywhere, so we decided to collect it, to give students a brief (and unconventional) look at the types of people they should expect to meet at the UK’s top universities, and to seek out where the nicest, happiest and most disgusting people in the UK choose to go to university.”