Feel free to call me Scrooge but I hate Christmas jumpers
It’s that time of year again
It’s that time of year again. Christmas shopping, cold nights in front of the fire and those horrid Christmas jumpers.
Yeah call me Scrooge but let’s face it they’re fucking horrible. Its bad enough we have to pretend we’re all upbeat and happy with deadlines looming but to add to that we’re forced to look at these godforsaken eyesores.
Dress warm, people have no problem with that, but dressing like an idiot and expecting people to associate with you in public? That’s where I draw the line.
Actually Christmas jumpers themselves aren’t that bad – little kids look okay in them but that’s because they’re small and not emotionally and mentally mature. What’s your excuse?
Do your parents still pick your clothes for you? If they do then you probably deserve to look like an idiot.
Christmas jumpers with the big reindeer or a huge jolly Santa should be left in the back of the wardrobe.
The last time I saw a Christmas jumper I could get on board with was in Home Alone and that is the only time and place I will think it’s acceptable because you don’t mess with a classic.
That doesn’t mean you can impersonate the film because, let’s face it, you’re not McCauley Culkin so don’t act like it.
I don’t want to hear that “I’m hipster” bullshit.
Being hipster is just an excuse to look and act like a twat.
Christmas jumpers are up there with hipsters, dicks using banter as an excuse to be dicks and 9am lectures.
The quicker people grow up and realise that you don’t look cool and it’s not the style this year the better.
Chris Thompson, second year psychology student says: “My ex-girlfriend bought me one last year, I nearly broke up with her because of it.”
So not only do these crimes against fashion look awful but they’re ruining relationships. Is that what you want…heartbreak at Christmas?
I’ll admit I’m not the jolliest of people but any rational person would see that Christmas jumpers have no place in today’s society.
We already put up with Christmas carollers and annoying Christmas light shows with those minor “celebrities” that are still waiting for the call from I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
I’m going to sum up by saying this…
Santa isn’t real, Christmas shopping is too expensive, no one gives a shit about your Christmas decorations and Christmas jumpers look shit.
Merry Christmas ya filthy animals.