How to pass your exams
Fool proof advice on how to cheat/pass your exam. Good luck!
Worried? Frightened? Confused? You weakling – what you need are some handy tips to ace your exams, no matter what the costs. Keep these under your belt in case a mate of yours needs to swindle their way around that pesky test!
1) Write the answers on your hip
Scribble it all down minutes before the exam, and take a quick peek when no one is looking. If you get caught, you can get scared and sweat away all the evidence. Gross, but handy!
2) Write the answers on a scrap of paper, and hide it in your pen
After all, no one will be searching your pens.
3) Pretend to be deaf
Purchase an old Sony Walkman with the old headphones from a charity shop. Before you enter the exam, place a tape full of the answers that you recorded the night before into the music player, and play it when the exam starts. If anyone asks what that is on your ears, pretend to struggle hearing them and say that it’s a cheap, crap hearing aid.
4) Bribe the person marking the work
Put those loans and grants to good use rather than spending it all on cheap vodka and buy yourself a 2:1. If you want a first on your exam, then you’ll be needing a lot of money.
5) Study hard
In the end, isn’t that what university is all about?
Wait, whaddya mean, ‘no’?