The five steps to a great night out in Leicester

Tequila and vodka is what is required, not fruity cider

We’ve all been on average nights out before. The music just doesn’t seem as good, the drinks don’t seem to be doing anything and you get tired way faster than usual. Everything just doesn’t seem to go right and the moment you make it to the club you know you’ve made a terrible mistake.

But then there are those nights where everything comes together perfectly. The drinks are flowing, your mates are throwing serious shapes and everyone you bump into turns into your new best mate who you will cherish forever (or up until the moment you get home and pass out somewhere near your bed). Through my many years of being an alcoholic, I believe I have narrowed down what makes a great night out so special and what is required to make sure its a night you will (or most probably won’t) remember.

Step 1: The pre pres

This step is the most underrated and neglected in getting ready to go out. This is the half an hour before pres when you decide what you will wear, whether or not you need to iron that top that has been left on your floor from last week, and what bevs will be brought to your mate’s house.

Music needs to be on point (preferably early 2000s RnB, but that’s just me) and you need to have already started to get a little bit tipsy. This part is key. You don’t want to turn up to a pres completely sober or on time. Just down a couple of cans of whatever you have and mentally prepare yourself for the night ahead.

Step 2: Making sure you have a good squad 

If I’ve learned anything at university, its that you need to make sure you have the right group of people to go out with. Going out with the wrong group, even if they are all your mates, can be detrimental to the over all night. Always sunny in Philadelphia said that you need four types of people to make a good team, and I believe that this translates to going out as well.

These four categories are the brain, the muscle, the good looks and the wild card. The brains is needed for obvious reasons – They’re the friends who help you get home and prevents you form making bad decisions when out. Too many of these and the night becomes boring, but just the right amount and you will get home safe.

The muscle is used to push in at the bar, get to where you want to go on the dance floor and back you up in a fight. The good looks, similarly to the muscle, can be used to cut lines and steal drinks and cigarettes off of people that don’t know any better. The wild card is there to do stupid shit. This means that the night stays interesting and it keeps everyone on their toes, which leads to a great night.

Squad on point

Step 3: Pres

This is where if you’ve done steps one and two properly, the night begins to take shape. It’ll start off without incident, but the someone will takeover the Spotify playlist and suggest some random drinking game that their mate taught them.

From here on everything falls into place. You’ll get through your drinks in no time and begin mixing vodka with beer to see what it tastes like. Someone will inevitably break something or hurt themselves, but this will just be laughed off as nothing until the morning.

At pres as well is where the roles I spoke about before begin to show. The wild card is the one who breaks everything and suggests weird and over complicated drinking games. The brains is figures out what combination of drinks will get them drunk the fastest. You get the idea. Then, you all bundle onto the Shabang bus or into a taxi where the chants begin and the night steps up a notch.

Stunners of the week

Step 4: The club

This is the culmination of a whole nights worth of careful drink choices and song selection. You’ve finally made it. Staggering past the bouncers and into the familiar dance floor of the o2, you feel like you’ve accomplished something. Obviously, the first point of order is to buy a round and lose each other as you struggle to get to the toilets. After struggling to down two or three shots that will bring you to the brink of being sick and taking a  picture with the iconic Shabang sign, you stumble onto the dance floor.

Then you come together with your squad, laughing, throwing serious shapes and making new friend along the way. Sure, half your drink will be spilled down you at some stage and sure, you may get into some arguments with some random other group, but it’ll be an amazing night out.

You know its going well when you’re wearing a bucket

Step 5: The journey home

And then it was over. Like a drunk version of Frodo taking the ring to Mordor, you aimlessly wander your way home linked arm in arm with your mates. No one remembers anything since the moment pres went pear shaped and that stain on your shirt somehow has managed to get worse. But that doesn’t matter. As you collapse on your bed fully clothed, you smile to yourself knowing that although you may never remember it again, you had a night out for the ages.

r u ok hun?

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