What your night out in Leicester says about you

If you go to Leicester University, you know that it’s not the biggest city in the world and it doesn’t have the biggest nightlife. But you’re okay with that, because you are the nightlife and it’s your responsibility to bring to the party, well, the party.

Given that we’re all pretty basic, and we love it, it only takes four clubs to section us into the stereotypes that we truly are.

LetsDisko

Getting Snow White girl crunked

It’s a well known fact on campus that LetsDisko is dominated weekly by societies. Whether you’re with the Netball Society on an ABC Social wearing Tesco bags as skirts, or with the Geography Society wearing a T-shirt that says “Colouring in since 2014”, the likelihood of you remembering your night tomorrow morning is already 100:1 against you, because everyone knows if you’re in fancy dress then five VKs is part of the costume.

You’ve probably been peer-pressured into coming out, or you’re in denial over the fact your school years are now over, because a LetsDisko night is your standard school disco – tame, but naughty. LetsDisko is like the middle ground between your mum letting you have your first sip of beer to an actual vodka shot in the club, easing you into the realities of clubbing whilst cradling you with the sounds of One Direction and Taylor Swift.

You might be a horny rugby player, prowling around for any girl who will give you their time of day, or you’re that girl who is willing to give him that time of day he craves. All in all, LetsDisko doesn’t really make you a party animal – probably more of an alcoholic socialite, because the only way to Disko is to blind-drunk Disko.

Shabang!

If you’re a Shabang-goer, you’re possibly one of the most optimistic people on campus, holding onto an air of anticipation that this week will be different from the last, that tomorrow’s Shabang-over will be somehow worth it when you wake up next to the solid seven you somehow managed to pull.

Or maybe you’re just a little scared to venture away from the SU, because on Friday nights members of the public go out in town and who knows what might happen then?

Ready to f*** s*** up

You’re the equivalent of a student who has just graduated. Returning to live at home while searching for a job, you’re not quite ready to enter into adulthood. Shabang! is your home, sheltering you from the realities of the real world with low rent and cushioned truths of how expensive independent living actually is. Shabang! is your mum, preparing you to hit the streets while reminding you that you should probably move out onto bigger and better things. You’re in denial, but Shabang isn’t going to make you a big man.

You’re probably about as basic as that Sainsbury’s basic Vodka you necked at pre-drinks. Nevertheless, you roll up your sleeves on you red-checkered shirt, clean the mud off of your Nike Janoskis (Do you even know who Stefan Janoski is?) and proceed to pretend that you can shuffle.

Club Republic

Quids In Mondays at Republic attract those who are “100 per cent completely done with Shabang”, until next week they realise that Monday is a shit night to go out. Characterising what room each person is going to go to in Republic is easy.

Have you polished off your best Air Max and have you got your snapback on backwards? R&B room. Wearing literally anything from Topman that definitely makes you stick out from the crowd while carrying four VKs? I banish you to your chart music in the back room. And have you actually worn UV paint to the paint party? Piss off to the cheesy room.

Buttons are for school boys

Mosh

You’re edgy. Or at least you think you fit within that category. Can’t decide between classic Nirvana or a naughty little Pop Mash-up? Then Mosh is the one for you. You’re probably trying to fit in with your friends who genuinely enjoy Mosh, or you’re bored of what “talent” the O2 has to offer. If you don’t have a beard then don’t even think about the Basement floor. And if you didn’t send out that Snapchat saying “Mosh is so much better than Shabang!”, then did you really go to Mosh?

You’re too grimey to care, because if you’re drinking lager in a club then you’re probably there to appreciate the music, not get absolutely munted. Being squished up against a sweaty body in the O2 doesn’t have quite the same appeal as a moist Mosh session. VK stains on your white shirt are no longer an issue, but the brown sweat of the person you danced with is.

Double denim, double trouble

But kudos to you, you’re somewhere that heightens your social status purely because you’ve broken the chains of only going to SU organised nights. Well done.